Talk show hosts talk about Halloween, because real life isn’t frightening enough. …

“I once got arrested on Halloween dressed up as Nick Nolte’s mugshot. So in my mugshot I’m dressed up as Nick Nolte’s mugshot. #HalloweenFail”

– Jimmy Fallon

“How the fuck did we get here? The only time anyone should be struggling to choose between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump is if they’re picking a Halloween costume.”

– Trevor Noah

“If you have not chosen a costume, every second that goes by without making a decision means you’re that much closer trying to pass off your bathrobe as a costume. That’s not a costume, that’s unemployed.”

–Stephen Colbert

“Target launched a mobile app allowing kids to share the houses with the best Halloween candy in their neighborhood. The app is called the Sex Offender Registry.”

– Seth Myers