Left Shark can go about his daily routine now without the hassles of chaotic life on land …

This past February, in the midst of one of the worst Super Bowls in history between the Cheatriots and Seadderalls, an unlikely character became an Internet sensation damn near immediately.

Left Shark, a sloppily dancing character in Katy Perry’s halftime show, tripped and flopped its way into relevancy — thereby solidifying its position as a monetary mogul. In response, Katy Perry’s camp quickly filed paperwork to try and trademark the image of Left Shark, but failed in April when The United States Trademark Office denied the request.

According to trademark examiner David Collier, “(Left Shark) does not function as a service mark to identify and distinguish applicant’s services from those of others and to indicate the source of applicant’s services.” Christ, yes, we just spent an entire paragraph reporting about a lousy shark costume — if you need us, we’ll be tightening the noose downstairs …