All the other industries are just sitting on the sidelines, spitting and crying because the legal weed marketplace is eclipsing them and will be for some time.


Much like the time you cried because everyone went through puberty before you, other American industries are crying because the legal marijuana industry is out-growing all of them at steroidal speeds. That's because a recent survey of the American marketplace has found that legal marijuana is the fastest-growing industry in the U.S.

In fact, the growth of the legal weed marketplace is just that, if all 50 states legalize recreational pot, marijuana could become larger than the organic food industry. That's right, organic heirloom tomatoes we were going to put in our salad; your dance is done.

Researchers from The ArcView Group, a cannabis industry investment and research firm, found that the U.S. market for legal weed grew 74 percent in 2014 to $2.7 billion, up from $1.5 billion in 2013.

"In the last year, the rise of the cannabis industry went from an interesting cocktail conversation to being taken seriously as the fastest growing industry in America," Troy Dayton, CEO of The ArcView Group said in the executive summary of the report. "At this point, it’s hard to imagine that any serious businessperson who is paying attention hasn’t spent some time thinking about the possibilities in this market."

The report also forecasts a hell of a year for legal weed in 2015. Marijuana is projected to grow 32 percent from, something that Dayton says that places "cannabis in the top spot" when compared with other fast-growing industries. Invest much?

ArcView also predicts that 14 more states will legalize recreational weed, and two more states will legalize medical marijuana. At least 10 of those states are already considering legalizing recreational marijuana in just the next two years through ballot measures or state legislatures.

The report projects that, by 2019, all of the state-legal marijuana markets that already exist combined will make for a potential overall market worth almost $11 billion annually. If you haven't noticed, we're trillion of dollars in debt right now. And we're no POTUSes or Chiefs of Moneys or anything, but we're pretty sure any chunk of billions that can be reaped should be reaped, regardless of the source.

The report also revealed some interesting marijuana trends from around the nation, such as …

Irritatingly, California still has the largest legal cannabis market in the U.S. with $1.3 billion worth of weed being sold in 2014.

Colorado has the second largest, which is somewhat comforting, but Daddy doesn't love you for getting second place.

Arizona was the fastest-growing major marijuana market in 2014, expanding to $155 million, up more than $120 million from the previous year. And that's only from medical marijuana. Legal weed isn't expected to appear on Arizona's ballot until 2016. Nevertheless, a little Four Corner's smoke-off may be in the works.

In 2014, more than 1.5 million humanoids purchased legal marijuana from a dispensary, either medical or recreational. We're personally responsible for at least 2,352 of those.

Five states now have juicy marijuana markets that are larger than $100 million. In Colorado and Washington — the first states to open retail marijuana shops in the U.S. — consumers bought $370 million in marijuana products last year alone.

Oregon and Alaska are expected to add a combined $275 million in retail marijuana sales in their first year of operation. Thanks, you two.

You don't need retina-soothing Clear Eyes to see that weed is big business now … although you may need it to pass your roadside test. Anyway …

The only limiting factor in this marijuana cash monsoon is the possibility that certain states could keep a stranglehold on their puritanical anti-drug laws. Texas, we're looking at you.

Until weed is federally legal, no one's making the kind of money that would make the Chinese economy shake in its sweatshop Nikes. Oh wait, except Colorado, who pocketed $547 million in marijuana sales through the first three quarters of 2014 alone.

But, if the legalization trend continues at its current pace, and all 50 states were able to legalize recreational marijuana, the total market value of all states legalizing marijuana would tower over that of the organic food industry at $38.6 billion.

And if there's anything we want to see in 2015, it's organic kale getting its ass handed to itself by legal weed. Up yours, kale.

All in all, that shouldn't be too hard, especially given American's current love for things that fuck you up: a recent poll by Rasmussen Reports showed that only 7 percent of Americans think the United States is winning the war on drugs, and few Americans are interested in throwing down more money to try to win.

Let's all take a victory toke for that.