Sure, every fixed-gear riding, yoga-doing cool person you know is guzzling these healthy superfoods like his life depends on it, but, are these health-trend junkies onto something, or are they just casualties of a well-marketed, yet illegitimate food trend? Find out what health food trends are legit, and which have bullshit written all over them.

Sure, every fixed-gear riding, yoga-doing cool person you know is guzzling these healthy superfoods like his life depends on it, but, are these health-trend junkies onto something, or are they just casualties of a well-marketed, yet illegitimate food trend? Find out what health food trends are legit, and which have bullshit written all over them.

  • 1: The Holy Grail of Legitimacy: It’s better for you than a five-hour sex workout followed by a coffee enema.
  • 5: Meh. It’s good for you, but no better than anything else. Except crack. It’s better for you than crack.
  • 0: Total Bullshit: It’s an edible trend with no cred. Sad face 🙁

1. Kale (1)

Believe us, there’s nothing that we’d like more than to make fun of kale, but as it turns out, it’s pretty legit. A descendant of cabbage, the dark leafy green is high in fiber, calcium and vitamins A, B and C. Consume it raw, sauteed, baked, fried, in a soup, whatever. It’s kind of like your high-school girlfriend; you can do whatever you want to it. It’s kind of like your high-school boyfriend: Get it in you, and it’ll do everything it can to satisfy. But remember, eating it raw will give you the most health benefits because heating it can cook out some of the nutrients. So do us a favor and have kale salad, OK? You can thank us later.

2. Kombucha (7)

Kombucha is a fizzy drink made from fermented tea and good bacteria that’s symbiotic with your body. The bacteria in it are probiotics, which improve your digestive health, immune system and mood. Now here’s where the bullshit meter comes in handy: The ancient Chinese called this beverage “the immortal health elixir,” and some die-hard fans say it even cures cancer. Turns out, well, nope. It hasn’t been clinically proven to improve the aging process or do anything for that nasty case of cancer. It does cure one thing though; our thirst for vinegar-flavored water. Mmm.

3. Acai (9)

This berry is rich in antioxidants and loaded with vitamins and minerals, but so are a lot of things. In fact, the jury’s still out as to whether these fruits are more beneficial to your health than any other similar fruit. It’s also rumored to give you a bunch of energy, but listen; we’ve tried our fair share of acai in our day, and it’s no Red Bull or cocaine. It’s like a spot of tea with a crumpet on a Sunday afternoon at Mother’s house. One person we asked about it said, “Eating acai berries is like riding Razor scooters. You might look cool now, but you look like an idiot when you take it to a skate park.” When do you not look like an idiot with a Razor scooter? Exactly.

4. Chia Seeds (5)

According to millions of Internet ads, chia seeds are supposed to help you lose weight by blocking caloric uptake and making you feel fuller, faster. However, we can’t find a goddamn clinical trial to back this up, which gives it some serious bullshit points. The only way to truly tell if chia aids in weight loss is obviously to to test it on an intern. Anyway, if you don’t eat them for the slightly mythical weight- loss benefits, eat them for the cubic buttload of antioxidants, fiber, calcium and protein they’re packed with. They’re also the richest plant source of omega-3 fatty acids, which help with everything from depression to lowering blood pressure.

5. Quinoa (2)

Quinoa has so much protein in it that we can’t even think of something to compare it to. As in, a cup offers about half of your recommended protein for the day. It’s also full of fiber, iron, magnesium, Vitamin B and lysine, which aids in tissue repair. If you ever wanted to have energy, quinoa will give it to you, hard. However there are some unsubstantiated claims about it, like that it reduces migraines and decreases the risk of heart attack and stroke by improving vascular health. Don’t know about that, but it can taste boring if you don’t season the shit out of it.

6. Fermented Everything (2)

The probiotics in pickled and fermented foods help digestion, improve your immune system and increase mental health. Sauerkraut, pickles, tempeh, kimchi, kefir, miso; these are just a few of our favorite fermented things. The only bullshitt-y factor? If you’re not drinking a fermented drink like wine or kombucha, it can be difficult to work fermented foods into your diet if you’re not familiar with them. Oh, and did we mention beer and wine are fermented as well? What’s that we hear. An excuse to get drunk? We’ll be right back.