With festival season winding down, it's time we reminisce about the massive amount of drugs we smoked, snorted, popped or hell-licked off a rave girl's lollipop.
With festival season winding down, it’s time we reminisce about the friends we made, the artists we danced to, and most importantly, the massive amounts of drugs we smoked, snorted, popped, dropped, or hell-licked off a lollipop that some rave girl wearing nothing but pasties and a wolf spirit hood gave us at Ultra.
Good thing Drugabuse.com combed through over three million Instagram posts and hashtags to come up with these incredibly informative, yet unsurprising infographics that describe what the most popular drugs at every festival this year were.
Ahhh, we love a good infographic.
According to the research, alcohol was the most-posted substance in the study, with 31,149 mentions. Coming next was MDMA, or Molly, with 25,605 posts, followed by marijuana with 9,705, and cocaine with 4,779. But, that's not all people were social media vomting about. Let's take a look around some of our favorite fests to find out what else people were yakin' about.
Electric Daisy Carnival = MDMA
Naturally, EDC ranks #1 for MDMA-based drugs. How else would we deal with the neon flower bras, LED rave gloves, hours upon hours of pulsating, bass-thumping music and waiting in line for the Port-O-Potty with 300 other sweaty, smelly, gyrating millennials? “Isn’t this fucking great, I just love you so much!!” we hear one 19-year-old raver says to the other as they prepare to dump out in the Port-O-Potty next to us … cause Molly makes you shit but it also makes you love.
Coachella = Cocaine
Coachella is known as one of the original festivals that combined music, art, environment, fashion and overall atmosphere into a three-day event. Because it’s so ‘unique,’ white middle class millennials are attracted to it almost as much as a BOGO Urban Outfitters sale. This in turn, leads to a lot of feathered headdresses, knitted tops, and … cocaine. The models, actors, and Kardashians could push these numbers into higher percentiles or maybe none of the other festivals’ patrons are rich enough to use coke. They stick to prescription uppers stolen from their parents’ medicine cabinets.
Marley Fest = Marijuana Fest
Since basically forever, Bob Marley’s name has been synonymous with marijuana. So obviously you can’t go to this festival without getting high at least once. From the communal joint that twelve other lips have touched, to swirling clouds of Alaskan Thunderfuck permeating literally everything, Marley Fest is America’s #1 weed music festival. If you don’t smoke weed and don’t own something rasta colored, this fest isn’t for you.
Chili Cook Offs = Alcohol
While not exclusively a "festival," chili cook offs are prime locations for fuckery where three important things come together: Dad bods, Bud Light, and experimental ingredients that more often than not just miss the mark. We’ll skip the peanut butter infused chili this year and go for a lime-a-rita instead. This is where people go after they’ve gotten married, had kids, gotten divorced, and are now looking to hit on groups of single soccer moms just out sampling some food and drinking Michelob Ultra with the girlfriends. The one thing that makes this hot, cover band, stroller-fest enjoyable, besides all the chili you can eat, is the permeating omnipresence of alcohol.
Burning Man = LSD, DMT, Mescaline
For a psychedelic, dusty, nude experience, we will always and forever turn to Burning Man, whose patrons will always and forever turn to hallucinogens to make this already trippy experience even more surreal … as if being there weren’t like being on acid enough. But we do have one burning man burning question about this: Why mescaline? This little-used drug is not for the faint of heart, yet it’s ever-popular in the harsh terrain of the desert. Similar to LSD but longer lasting than shrooms, (also widely used in this temporary metropolis), mescaline induces 12-hour hallucinogenic experiences, and the occasional vomiting or diarrhea. At Burning Man, that seems impractical. There are no toilets to unleash your torrential mescaline shits, no water to revive you after you’ve wandered 12 hours out into the desert, no place to conceal your uncontrollable vomiting, and all the spirit guides you’re hoping to see in your hallucinatory state are off voyeuring the orgy tent. Spirit Mother’s gotta whack off too, sometimes. That sounds like some anxiety inducing, soul crushing, mind-fuck to us, but … whatever.
Mad Decent Block Party = Mad Decent Opioids
It seems like at Mad Decent Block Party, the ONLY items you are allowed to bring in are prescription drugs – with the proper documentation of course. It’s no wonder that this traveling fest attracts opioid users. We feel like these prescriptions are pretty easy to disguise. Does security in multiple venues around the country really know what the little pills reading M365 are? We doubt it.
Camp Bisco = Everything Under the Sun
Camp Bisco seems to be the best amalgamation of music, atmosphere, and yes, pretty much every drug on this list. The fest melds together two different musical styles, jam band and electronica, and therefore two different types of people: high and higher. People are either stoned out of their minds on weed, or literally out of their minds on LSD, mescaline, MDMA or shrooms. Phish fans and Pretty Lights lovers unite!
Didn't see your favorite substance or festivals on that list? Check out Drugabuse's other handy-dandy infographics on the topic:
If we’ve learned one thing from this infographic, it’s that Burning Man is next on the to-do list and people post way too much personal information on Instagram during these festivals. We get it: you’re really alternative sleeping in nothing but your ENO hammock at Bonnaroo.
We aren’t encouraging drug use, by any means. We are just providing pertinent information on what we are bound to ‘see’ at certain festivals next season, so, you’re welcome.
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