Strange and aggressive behavior at the Boulder Whole Foods grocery store is not an uncommon thing to witness. If you’ve ever been in that parking lot during the lunch-rush you know what I’m talking about: those health-freaks become vicious and cutthroat when they’re hungry for organic quinoa and over-priced avocados.

They’ll swoop each other's parking spots, throw their bodies in front of moving carts, use their own children to stop traffic and sprint to beat one another through the sliding glass doors at the front.  

But on Monday afternoon, one mad lad by the name of Chad Nick Naranjo took that mania to a bizarre new level. The 49-year-old man was arrested after he started dragging his black and white pit-bull mix around the store and biting the animal’s ear.

When the cops showed, Naranjo pulled a knife on them. Luckily, though, the lunatic dropped the weapon when police produced tasers. No humans were harmed, although the dog was taken to the Humane Society of Boulder Valley.

And the kicker? Naranjo was stone cold sober. No drugs or alcohol were found in his system after the arrest.

That’s a lot to take in. It’s a weird scene to imagine and an even harder one to explain. Why was Naranjo biting that dog? Has this happened before? Could it happen again?

None of these questions were answered by Boulder police or anyone else in the wake of the incident. Instead, everyone has been left wondering.

I reached out to the Boulder PD about the incident and, perhaps not surprisingly, they were extremely unhelpful. Such is the nature of cops.

Regardless, the dog is apparently okay. According to the humane society, the pup “did not have any visible wounds from the bite.” It was just shaken up, traumatized and likely very embarrassed by the whole ordeal.

Naranjo is being charged with concealing a weapon and being a crazy fuck. He’ll likely be spending the next few nights in the Boulder County Jail (at least), and hopefully he never gets his dog back.