Adele, how do we love thee? Let us count the ways …

Adele is all over the damn place these days, with most of us glued to any electronic device pining to get a taste of one new note from her. In fact, the entire universe is obsessed with Adele right now, we know this. So we took some time to figure out why. Okay, actually, we just sat down and copied from our personal journal entries. This infatuation has been ongoing for a while.

In addition, there’s a mood friendly playlist to peruse through at the bottom for every Adele worthy occasion. That's how we roll when it comes to everything Adele.

Adele gives zero fucks about giving birth

Sure she loves her three-year-old son (Angelo), so much so that she has his name tatted on her hand; but she never once demanded that she be appreciated because she popped out a kid. She kept her pregnancy and birth on the DL tip. She didn’t demand that her baby was special, and cry about how hard being a mommy is — she strapped on her real mom panties and went to work. Like a normal fucking human. She speaks with love when it comes to her son, but also admits it’s a fucking nightmare and won’t ever demand special treatment for something women have been doing since we crawled out of the damn mud.

She is absolutely stunning in a beautifully attainable way

It’s not the way Adele’s hair blows in her newest “Hello” video, her pronounced cheekbones or those piercing eyes that shoot right through our souls. Adele’s beauty actually emanates from the inside out. It’s not that plastic Kardashian beauty (even though we love us some Khloe) we see plastered all over the Internet. No. It’s her demanding that people really look at who she is as a woman and an artist, not the make-up she slaps on her face. Nowhere has she made this more apparent than her current Rolling Stone cover where she graces us with her pure, dewy beauty.

Adele cusses a lot

We love any woman who uses the words “fuck” and “tits” on a regular basis. Adele makes it clear that she doesn’t give a damn about the "fuck-wits" that judge her for using profanity. It’s not profanity if you don’t take it seriously, people. Think of cussing as a punctuation or adjective and maybe you’ll understand the freedom that comes with using it as freely as our beloved Adele.  

She’s a fashion inspiration

Adele is known for always sporting black, and for those of us that do the same, we thank you. In a media hungry society, Adele doesn’t conform to what’s trendy right now, but instead honors herself by dressing in what she knows flatters her body. With no apologies, she often wears all black, and that classic color choice demands people pay attention to texture, style and the pure beauty that is found in keeping style pure and elegant. Adele doesn’t need to wear neon to get attention. She shows up, smiles, and that’s it. Keep it simple and classy, kids. And peel that fucking pleather off. Slowly.

She’s funny as hell

Adele has given a plethora of interviews, and through them we’ve never experienced anything other than a quick, witty and intelligent response. She handles all questions, even the ridiculous Playboy question, with grace and humor. It’s our firm belief that one of the strongest assets we have is our quick wit and sense of humor, so she's speaking our language. Adele understands fame is a bit of a shit-show, and isn’t afraid to joke about the silliness of it. Her light nature allows her fans to get a better sense of who she is as a person, and that joy she shares during interviews allows us to feel close to her. Even if it’s a weird, fan, false sense. We know, it just got weird. A little.

Adele’s loud voice drowns out our shitty singing voices

Sure we all think we can sing when we’re screaming the lyrics: “NEVERMIND I’LL FIND SOMEONE LIKE YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!” in the safe space of our cars, but let’s be real … we understand we suck. But it doesn’t matter, because Adele sings so perfectly loud that she drowns out our horrendously off-pitch voices. And that is something we can’t thank her enough for.

There’s always that one summer day, windows down, Adele blaring, when we turn to see our … (Choose one below that best fits your humiliating experience)

a) boss
b) ex’s new stunning wife/handsome husband
c) new sex interest
d) one night stand
e) anyone that looks semi-familiar

…and in this mortifying moment, the only voice that can save us is our sweet, sweet Adele. Sing louder, sister.

She tells body shaming doucherats to go fuck themselves

People have enough issues in this fucked up world to deal with; so why do we insist on making people feel bad for having our own unique kick-ass body types? Adele is a huge proponent of body love by just telling people to go fuck themselves. We think it’s her lack of giving a damn what people think that inspires us to wear whatever the hell we want. Go ahead and judge us for showing a little more cheesecake (our moms' term for the VERY upper thigh) than some people’s uptight asses can stand, but what the hell do you care? Is our cleavage or cellulite in some way affecting the way you eat your lasagna?? No. And do you know how we know it isn’t?!?! Because Adele fucking said so!

She’s from London

Maybe it’s just us, but something about that damn accent gets us every single time. Maybe it’s the way in which she speaks and not really the accent. Or perhaps it’s the flavor of what she’s speaking about, but let’s be honest, everything sounds better when Adele says it. It’s also the casualness in which she addresses everything. The joke is always that the British are so uptight, but the truth is Londoners know how to roll, and the uptight Americans could take a lesson or two from people who don’t give two shits about what you think.

And secretly? We practice sounding like her in the mirror.           Sometimes.

Adele is a business bad ass

Adele gets what it means to be a business woman in 2015. She has no interest in mincing words when it comes to what she does and how she does it. She’s an inspiration to those of us who never came from money, work our asses off just to get where we are and STILL get up at the ass crack of dawn every single day to keep our hustle game strong. And she admits that it’s not easy to keep moving forward as a woman in any industry. In her recent Rolling Stone article she eloquently addresses the way-too-frequently asked, “Are you a feminist” question by stating: “I'm a feminist, I believe that everyone should be treated the same, including race and sexuality … It's like, ‘Well, I'm the fucking artist, so I fucking know everything, actually! Like, don't fucking talk down to me!’” Preach, Adele.

Adele’s songs allow us to feel pain

We’ve all been there … it’s late, you’ve been drinking, and you make the mistake of looking at the last text/email/social media post your ex ever sent you — but before you drunkingly text/email/post back (even if it’s 6 months later), you need a damn soundtrack for inspiration. And Adele can (with a little help from us beliow) provide that soundtrack, friends. We’re not about to let you go begin this humiliating experience alone. That’s not the type of bastards we are. We care!

To help you with this horrible idea that will surely end in disappointment and heartache, we’ve created a cheat sheet (because we know you’ll be wasted) below to keep handy on those drunken kitchen floor nights. You. Are. Welcome.

Adele songs for every occasion

1. If you made a massive mistake and broke up with the love of your life: “Hello” and “First Love”

2. "Fuck you" to your cheating or just plain asshole ex: “Rolling In the Deep” and “Someone Like You” (In this order. Trust us.)

3. Breaking up with an asshole: “Turning Tables” or “Set Fire To The Rain” (The choice depends on the drink and the ex.)

4. Preparing for an ex’s wedding: “Chasing Pavements,” “When We Were Young” and “Tired”

5. Drunk text to a crush: “Crazy for You” and “Lovesong”