Just when we thought you couldn't be any unhealthier, you go and totally redeem yourself!
If there’s one thing that goes well with a delicious Big Mac, it’s probably not a Monster Energy Drink. Compounding a heart attack with a heart arrhythmia isn’t our definition of a good time. But that’s just us. McDonald’s obviously sees something that we don’t see and is bringing in the energy drink to compliment a menu that already questions the limits of health.
Over the summer, Ronald and Co. launched the energy drink campaign across five states, in an effort to combat declining soda sales and it’s questionable food products that might or might not cause obesity in everyone who eats it. While the company has yet to release the results of the social experiment, many experts believe that it’s inevitable we’ll have Monster’s on all the McDonald’s menus shortly.
Why you ask? Great question. It appears the long-standing cool kids club of McDonald’s and Coke has almost guaranteed that Monster will be a staple on all menus. Mainly because Coke makes Monster. Bam! Mind blown! Whether or not this is a success is anyone’s prediction, but we’re guessing that if you’re already indulging in McDonald’s value menu, chances that you’re concerned about slamming a little extra coronary crack are about the same as whether Lamar Odom wore protection or not.
Don’t worry your thin buns though, McDonald’s hasn’t lost site of America’s gourmand ways. To help with America’s addiction to having fat asses, the chain launched a kale burger endorsed by everyone’s favorite goober James Franco in addition to releasing a documentary bringing awareness to schools that McDonald’s is a viable weight loss tool. Not sure about the latter allegation, but who are we to complain, we haven’t slept in three days and we’ve devoured five boxes of $4.99 20-piece chicken nuggets.
Ronald, you stud you! You're now our new dealer.