Also appearing on the secret menu is an atrocity called the "Land, Air and Sea."

For years, the McDonald's secret menu has been archived as "urban lore" in society's collective unconscious right alongside the Loch Ness Monster and the promise "Daddy will call on your birthday this year, maybe."

But now, a McDonald's manager has taken to Reddit to confirm the existence of the fast food giant's famed secret menu — a sadistic catalog of clandestine options for edible slop the general public isn't privy to.

The menu is full of gastrointestinal atrocities like the ones we're about to show you below. But pay special notice to the menu item named after the sexual act involving many men engaging with a single female in coital bliss. Bitch you guessed it; there's a burger on there that's called … (pregnant pause) … The McGangBang. YUM-MY!

Scroll down to see it and the other appalling combinations of meat and bread McDonald's has to offer.

The Monster Mac

Perhaps more aptly called the Bigger Mac, this obeseifying creation is just a normal Big Mac …but with six extra beef patties shoved in. According to Hack the Menu, the burger is 'enough to satisfy a few people with hearty appetites or one hungry lumberjack' and can be ordered from any McDonalds for $6.49.

Chicken McGriddle

Do you want breakfast? Do you want lunch? Do you not know how to make adult choices? Then go with the McGriddle, the secret breakfast menu item that combines a fried chicken patty with sausage, egg and bacon and smushes it all inside an English muffin that's filled with syrup. Fuck you, cruel world.

Mostly served in the South.

Fries with Big Mac sauce

If you want to spice up your mundane existence, order your fries with a side of Big Mac sauce instead of ketchup. Although, Big Mac sauces is really just ketchup diluted with mustard and some other non-solid things — so ask yourself whether you're an intrepid explorer or a just a pussy. According to Hack the Menu, it's usually free.

Grilled cheese

For the vegetarian in your life who deserves to consume just as much fatal sodium and bread as you, this is easily the most basic of the secret menu choices. A hamburger is stripped bare aside from the cheese and is then grilled for $0.99. The website urges the importance of getting it grilled.

The Land, Sea and Air burger 

Got-fucking-damn-it! This motherfucker combines a McChicken patty, a Fillet-O-Fish and two beef burgers together into one horrifying assault on reality. We don't know who thought they'd might like to taste chicken and fish together in one bite, but to whatever unfathomable mind created that concoction, we have one thing to say to you: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

Available for $8.49 to those with a death wish.

The McGangBang

Okay, here it is. The moment you've been waiting for: the McDonald's sex sandwich.

This crudely Franken-food is said to be the most famous of the secret menu items. It combines a McDouble with a McChicken sandwich and sandwiches the two together for just $2. Meanwhile, a real gang bang costs you the price of a course of antibiotics, so really … they're about the same.

The Neapolitan Shake

The three flavored shake is one of the few beverages on the McDonald's secret menu. The shake blends vanilla, chocolate and strawberry in on cup to satisfy all cravings for fat and shame. $1.99 small. $2.49 medium, $2.89 large.

In the Reddit AMA with the McDonald's manager, user JoshuaTee had asked "Can you confirm the validity of the "Secret Menu"? Also, what is the one item you would recommend customers do not order?"

The fast food insider claimed that customers could indeed order from the secret menu, but revealed it was a menu made more by "random people" than the McDonald's corporation.

In fact in response to the AMA, a rep from McDonald's said, "There is no secret menu at McDonald's." Damn it.

As for items to definitely avoid, the manager recommended you stay away from the chicken.

"DON'T order… the grilled chicken," he said. "It's horrible frozen chicken that we defrost and steam and it's a bit gelatinous."

But … even if the secret menu is sorta-fake-but-also-real and even if the chicken is less than free-range, we're still pretty titillated that we can eat a burger named after a questionable sexual act. It's pretty cool. No word yet on whether they'll roll out "Fellatio Fries" or "Anal Fisting McChicken," but we'll just have to be patient and see.