un … freaking … believable …
Two huge corporations recently jumped in bed together to form one big mega-corporation and are now taking dastardly measures to cut costs in the process.
Nevermind the 2,500 hard-working people losing their jobs because of the merger between Kraft and Heinz, nevermind that an internal memo from July 13 tells workers to reuse things like binders to save money … nevermind it all — because those bastards are now taking away employees’ free snacks. They’re taking away Jell-O snack time!
NBC News reports: "At its office in Northfield, the company also stopped providing free Kraft snacks like Jell-O."
SHOCK, AND AWE!
In a statement, spokesman Michael Mullen says, "This new structure eliminates duplication to enable faster decision-making, increased accountability and accelerated growth." Yet he conveniently skirts aroud the most crucial of all circumstances … where the fuck is the Jell-O going?
Employees affected by the layoffs will reportedly be given severance packages of at least a 6-month kick-out, but the company is still awfully quiet on whether or not that package includes a case of Island Pineapple, Lime, Black Cherry … hell save the people a shred of dignity and send them off with a few boxes of Grape, at best.
Though executives claim the restructuring will save the company close to $1.5 billion by 2017, we still can’t hold back the burning outrage we feel towards a company who dares diddle with nourishing sundries.
The world has gone mad …