What should I do if I can’t afford a therapist right now?
Have you tried complaining on Facebook about your problems? That seems to work for most people. Granted, you’ll get no positive feedback or input that is actually beneficial but at least it’s a free place to air your grievances. If that doesn’t work, adopt a dog. They’re great listeners!

 

How can I find work/Life balance by working from home? 
Designating one specific area of your house as your “office” can help. Use just that space and that space only for your job. If you work all day from your “favorite chair” it ceases to be your favorite chair anymore. I’m writing this from the toilet. The rest of the day I’ll do my business in the yard. 

 

How do I let go of sentimental objects? 
Who says you have to? I save everything. Still have that ticket stub from a Whitesnake concert you went to back in 86’? Frame that sum bitch! Holding on to a porcelain doll from your childhood? Put it in your guest room and use it to creep out your friends when they sleep over. It’s all about repurposing. 

 

How can I find a new job during the pandemic? 
Ugh … honestly I wish I could help you but I can’t even find my pants half of the time during this debacle. I haven’t seen my keys since March.

 

How do men feel about dating widows with teenagers? 
Can’t say I’ve ever been in this situation, but as long as there was no “foul play” involved, I don’t really see it as being an issue. However, If you told me your ex-husband mysteriously disappeared while on a fishing trip, I’d have some reservations and wonder if these kids were in on it.

 

iPhone or Android? 
Seems to be a personal preference. For instance, if you prefer a simple, easy to use device with the type of compatibility that a chimpanzee could navigate, might I suggest the iPhone. However, If you would rather be part of that annoying group of people that constantly talks about how superior Android is at parties when literally no one asked, than the Android is right for you! 

 

What’s your favorite camping meal?
The answer is chili. Hands down. The hardest part is finding a Wendy’s in the wilderness with a broken flashlight at 3 a.m. after 16 Bush Lights. It’s doable though.

 

Mike Knows Best:
Other countries are outwardly calling America the dumbest for how we’ve handled this virus… but I gotta say, it’s kind of refreshing to not immediately be thought of as the ‘fattest’ for once.