Come one, come all! This year, it seems like the Miss America pageant lowered their standards a teensie bit. Apparently, all you need to enter is two legs and hair…is that too much to ask?

Come one, come all! This year, it seems like the Miss America pageant lowered their standards a teensie bit. Apparently, all you need to enter is two legs and hair.

Those two legs don't even have to work…

Miss Florida Myrrhanda Jones is crippled, but she still snuck in there.

You can even sport your shitty tattoo you got in Cabo over Spring Break.

Miss Kansas Theresa Vail was the first woman to ever display her tats in a Miss America pageant, and the first woman to ever display her tats in a Miss America pageant to lose.

Never mind about that hair thing we said earlier…

Miss Delaware Kayla Martell, who has alopecia.

Ugly criers, migraine sufferers, ladies who just made a crucial mistake, you're all welcome to apply.

Miss America 2013 winner Nina Davuluri, who belongs to all three groups. She was a shoo-in.

Ladies. You don't even have to possess even a cursory understanding of sentence structure to enter. It's cute when you talk like a seven-year-old coming down off anesthesia. Here's a few of our favorite quotes from the taped intro segment where each girl introduces herself with a catchphrase:

"Tweet me, like me, text me! Streaming to you from Silicon Valley, I'm Crystal Lee, Miss California."

"Listening to your phone calls from the Nation's Capital. Just kidding! I'm Miss District of Columbia, Bindhu Pamarthi."

"I'm not Breaking Bad. I'm breaking through. Say my name, Alexis Duprey, Miss New Mexico."

"From the state with the lowest unemployment, I'm looking for a job tonight. I am Miss North Dakota Laura Harmon."

"Even though I'm lactose intolerant, Ben and Jerry are still my two favorite guys. I'm Miss Vermont, Jeanelle Achee."