Denver International Airport is world-renowned for the many welcoming amenities it provides travelers with. It's got everything you need, from murals of dead children, to an unexplained network of underground tunnels, to an evil horse that's killed people and will kill again, to a virtual multi-verse of conspiracy theories shrouded in mystery guaranteed to entertain you as you make your way to baggage claim across the haunted Native American overpass.
The only thing it's really been lacking is a true taste of Colorado spirit. A dispensary, as it were.
Now — thankfully — DIA is finally poised to get its first taste of Square State gold. Native Roots, who currently operates an imperious 15 other dispensaries in the state, just won permission to transfer their North Pecos medical marijuana store to a brand new spot just a stoner's throw away from the airport's resplendent concourses. You know, so you waste no time between taking off and toking up.
Realy, it's the least they could do after you had to stomach that turbulent Rocky Mountain air landing.
This is significant because currently, there are no other dispensaries anywhere near DIA. That means Native Roots is primed to enjoy a monopoly on travelers who need to make a last-minute pit stop for pot. It's a bold move, one that'll allow them to both cherry-pick customers and provide incoming travelers with their very first impression of a real, quality Colorado dispensary.
To no one's surprise, some people have a problem with this.
Lookin' at you, Denver Councilwoman Stacie Gilmore.
Gilmore and a handful of other DIA neighborhood residents protested the move, arguing that there's zero demand for a dispensary in that barren, vastly underpopulated neck of the woods — who's trying to buy weed out there, anyway? The troglodytes?
That, and they felt that a DIA adjacent bong depot would send the wrong message to incoming tourists — "Welcome to Colorado, bow down to your marijuana overlord!"
Too bad the Denver Department of Excise and Licenses didn't feel that was a strong enough argument. They upheld their Dec. 7 decision to allow Native Roots to set up shop as close to the airport's mysteriously swastika-shaped runways as possible … at 7050 N. Tower Road, to be exact.
“Native Roots is working to ensure that patients have access to medicine across the city of Denver. There is a clear need and desire for the surrounding neighborhood residents who currently have to drive about 10 miles to Denver or Aurora to have access to a medical center,” Native Roots spokeswoman Tia Mattson said in a statement Wednesday, celebrating the fact that all 12 people who live anywhere near the airport will finally have access to weed they already have access to but have to drive an extra ten minutes out of their way to get. Humanitarian!