Japan strikes again with the "Face Slimmer Exercise Mouthpiece." It's either a poorly disguised binky… or something that's totally not in every man, woman, and child's BDSM dungeon…No sir. No BDSM devices here.
Uh…yeah, we're pretty sure we could think of another use for this other than "face slimming."
This gem from Japan Trend Shop supposedly targets "sagging facial skin and muscles" by forcing your face muscles to contract around the mouthpiece that has absolutely no resemblance whatsoever to a BDSM device.
Says their website:
Cool, so basically you put it in and moan over and over and over, while the drool that seeps out of your salivary glands creates the perfect combination of warmth and lubrication, just in case any penises happen to get in there.
Can't wait to order a cubic butt-load of these puppies. Slim faces, here we come!
However, your face is already slimmed to your liking, but you're already developing wrinkels at the ripe young age of 18-24, you can always try on a Facewaver and stretch those wrinkles into submission…right after you rob a bank or get out of your S&M dungeon. Thanks, Japan!