#WillTweetForBeer is probably now trending in the Denver metro area …

We spend the entire day mindlessly tweeting dumb things at dumb people. Isn’t about time we something rewarding out of all that hard, soulless, thumb work we do? Something like free beer or Broncos tickets? How about a pair of motherfucking skis? SKIS?

Well, friends and unimportant Twitter friends, that time is now.

Sunday, the Denver Broncos debuted the NFL’s first Twitter-powered vending machine, which exists solely to give you free shit when you tweet at it. Sponsored by Bud Light, the vending machine prompts fans to tweet a specific predetermined message and a unique hashtag, after which it dispenses a special prize to the humanoid who sent the tweet.

The machine vends 200 prizes, including ticket upgrades, merchandise, skis signed by former quarterback Jake Plummer, ski lift tickets, and a whole bunch of free beer. After all, being a walking, tweeting corporate meat puppet is acceptable when it comes to the possibility of free beer… and skis signed by Jake Plummer that no one wants. Who is Jake Plummer? Doesn’t matter.

Unfortunately, this Bud Light Twitter bounty is only available to adults; there is alcohol involved so individuals must be 21+ to participate.

Brady Kellogg, the Vice President of Corporate Partnerships for the Broncos said, “We are constantly looking for ways to add value to the gamely stadium experience.  The Broncos’ Bud Light Twitter vending machine offers a powerful combination of mystery gifts and technology our fans haven’t seen before.”

Whatever you say, guy. You had us at “powerful combination of mystery gifts.”

Transparent corporate moves to create free online advertising trends are normally pretty obnoxious … but at least this one has the decency to treat us like the booze-binging, shameless freeloaders we are.
Go Broncos and stuff!