Nick Offerman, aka Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation is the god of sex, and all must bow before him.
Nick Offerman did a Reddit AMA. A lot of people asked him inane questions about woodworking and Scotch, which he answered with characteristic bravado. But our eyes popped right out of our head when he answered a few questions, both romantic and non-romantic in nature, with responses that revealed him to be a fucking sexual panther. The man is a sex god. And these are his teachings.
1. Find that one special thing that turns you on, and mine it for orgasms
2. Choose your partners wisely
3. Make sure you can give your partner more than just an orgasm
4. 69 is literally the secret key that unlocks the universe
5. Ass-worship your way into your lover's heart
6. Get crafty for the ones you love
7. The source of your sexual power isn't psychological; it's an overwhelming amount of testosterone coursing through your veins. Just FYI.
8. Sex doesn't always have to make sense or proceed logically, so just calm the fuck down
9. Go down on a hoe, mmmkay?
10. Be open-minded when it comes to sex, and stay away from Greek salads
11. Work the clit. Woooork it
12. Stop being a douchebag and just be your sexual, sexual self