Because soggy-ass hot dogs and frozen meat-discs aren’t impressing anyone …

Grilled Grilled Cheese

INGREDIENTS:   Bread, butter, cheese assortment
SUPPLIES:   Foil (optional)

  • Begin by lightly “toasting” the bread on both sides (be sure to oil/grease the grill first so it doesn’t stick)
  • Cover the insides of the bread with butter, mayonnaise, mustard … weed. Whatever.
  • Layer various cheeses (or sandwich meats/veggies) like a boss
  • Place back on the grill over indirect heat and cook until cheese is melted (wrap in foil for less mess

Bacapeño Poppers

INGREDIENTS:   Jalapeños, cream cheese, bacon
SUPPLIES:   Soaked toothpicks

  • Soak toothpicks in water while preparing the rest of the ingredients to keep them from catching fire on the grill
  • Cut jalapeños lengthwise and scrape out the insides
  • Fill each with appropriate amount of cream cheese
  • Wrap with bacon (turkey bacon works just as well for a healthier option) and stab toothpicks all the way through to hold in place
  • Grill, gloat, relax, enjoy

The Ohshittdog

SUPPLIES:   Skewers, sharp knife

  • Skewer the mystery log through the center all the way through
  • Slice the dog while rotating in a spiral fashion
  • Remove skewer and grill normally
  • BENEFITS: The spiral cut increases surface area to ensure an even cook all the way through. As a bonus, extra crevices in the meat keep condiments from rolling around like they own the place — the longer feature also makes for a solid ratio of bun to dog ‘til the end.

Banana Some Mores

INGREDIENTS:   Bananas, marshmallows, chocolate chips, Golden Grahams

  • Slice banana through without puncturing the bottom
  • Separate both sides with fingers and stuff with chocolate/marshmallows/Golden Grahams
  • Wrap in foil and place on grill over indirect heat for roughly 5-7 minutes — sliced side up
  • Get fat, live life, don’t care



According to a report posted in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry, marinating meat in a Pilsner-style beer for 4 hours before grilling cuts potentially cancer-causing carcinogens by as much as 25 percent — while using a dark beer results in a 53 percent reduction. Bottoms the F up!