P. Diddy: where is he now?

People who routinely ask themselves that question after the rapper/producer made one song in 1998 then did nothing for 20 years finally have an answer.

Mr. Combs is, as we speak, being sued by his former personal chef for sexual harassment over claims he made her feed him snacks and munchies while he and his guests "were engaged in sexual activity.”

Makes sense. Why limit yourself to just one sausage when you could have infinity sausages at the same time? God, celebrity sex is hot.

According to People Magazine, chef Cindy Rueda was hired to work for Diddy back in 2015, but, after complaining about the working conditions to his estate director Stacy Friend, she was “lured into a situation where she could be accused of theft and ultimately terminated." After she was let go for refusing to spoon feed Sean P. Diddy Combs tasty morsels during mating, she filed a lawsuit claiming she was often summoned into his room to only to find him naked and asking her if “she was attracted to or liked his naked body.” She also said that one of Combs’s friends cornered her in the kitchen while he was nude.

Wow. Suddenly our moonlighting gig at Olive Garden doesn't seem half bad …

The Combs estate alleges that Rueda was let go not because she wasn't into food play, but because she stole a watch, but Diddy also promised not to press charges if she signed a waiver promising not to sue him.

Rueda was like "Nah, I'm going for it" and that, ladies and gentlemen, is where we're at with P. Diddy — guy who sung something one time — today.

Welp, we're really looking forward to his first single in decades, "Sex Hoagie."

"Fellatio Soup," perhaps?

"Hold My Linguine Softly?"

"Crunchy Low-Calorie Afternoon Delight?"

Damn. We just wrote more songs than he has since 2002.