A Florida mother successfully petitioned to get Toys R Us to pull a set of Breaking Bad figurines from its shelves because, well, she's from Florida – and we couldn't hold back our rant because of it.

You couldn’t just leave well enough alone could you Florida? Why is it that whenever everyone else enjoys something, somebody, somewhere, thinks their line of thinking is the best line of thinking and ultimately ruins it? Florida: the reason why the rest of the country can’t have nice things.

Here’s the unbelievable story and our rant to the contrary:

Earlier this week Florida mother Susan Schrivier started an online petition through Change.org asking the massive retailer Toys R Us to pull plastic figurines from its shelves that are based on the wildly popular televisions series Breaking Bad.

The now defunct show follows an ex-chemistry teacher trying to make ends meet for his family by selling meth in light of extensive medical bills. But we needn’t tell you the premise of it, did we? You’ve probably wasted just as many Sunday afternoons as we have on laptop Netflix binges and rehydrating. Birds of a feather and all of that.

In the petition Schrivier says, “… their decision to sell a Breaking Bad doll, complete with a detachable sack of cash and a bag of meth, alongside children’s toys is a dangerous deviation from their family friendly values.” It goes on to ask the company to “immediately stop selling the Breaking Bad doll collection in their stores and on their website.”

Toys R Us initially defended the harmless figurines in a statement explaining the toys are found in the section of the store for adult collectibles and are labeled as being suitable for consumers 15 and older only. A day later, however, the company pulled the figurines with a succinct quip in response. “Let's just say, the action figures have taken an ‘indefinite sabbatical,’” it says.

So while the Florida mother and her 9,300 supporters are presumably glowing this morning with the success of their effort, we had a few things we had to get out to the world in response to this kind of confusing madness.

<rant> First, we can’t get over the inane hypocrisy in the petition’s language. It says, “While the show may be compelling viewing for adults, its violent content and celebration of the drug trade make this collection unsuitable to be sold alongside Barbie dolls and Disney characters.”

Does it mean the same Barbie dolls that are often cited for women’s body issues and glorify a biologically impossible standard of beauty? And does it mean the Disney characters starring in tales that are dissected by experts who concede they may embed negative social mores in children highlighting everything ranging from date rape to domestic violence?

Keep in mind: The Beast in Beauty and the Beast is an asshole who keeps Belle against her will in a violent and tumultuous relationship begging she give him just one. more. chance. each time he fucks up. If that glorious castle existed around neighbors the police would be called numerous times, with many arrests occurring, and the story having a much different outcome.

Right, “family friendly values” and all of that.

But aside from issues with the poorly thought out attack on the retailer, we’re going to speak openly here about the actual story of the show and its effect on kids.

We’d be thrilled if our sons or daughters came to us one day and suggested that Bryan Cranston’s character on Breaking Bad was the impetus for their lifelong goals. We don’t think we’re alone here, because we hope there are still people who don’t take things at a hyped-up face value.

If you remember, Walter White is a normal human being that comes to face the disastrous reality of cancer. He lives in America so unfortunately he’s a citizen of a country with one of the worst health-care systems known to humankind and faces staggering debt because of it. This is all surrounds the promise of doctors to simply keep him alive for a few more years – maybe.

He goes on to utilize his chemist-wizardry to make meth – an extremely profitable black-market commodity – for an industry that exists solely because of our egregiously failed war on drugs. He doesn’t create the drug problem in America, our politicians do. He just exploits it for his own well being.

In a comfort-strangling culture such as ours, can we really blame him?

Throughout the show Mr. White constantly fights social construct after social construct. Against all written-in odds, he eventually finds himself alone, broke, still sick and hated by everyone – all because he didn’t follow the rules of society. Sound familiar? It should, because it happens more often in this country than it would like to admit.

Sure, if our kids came to us one day and explained that they wanted to take on failing social structures to better the lives of others around them, knowing full well that what they do is illegal, we’d be worried for them. But we would also recognize a unique thought process and commend them on their willingness to avert the status quo.

Just because something is illegal doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Would we want our children’s desires to align with perpetuating existing problems, or would we want them to strive to exist as an important part of a solution?

That’s the kind of thinking that moves civilizations forward; it’s the kind of thinking that we can only hope to instill in others one day. It’s what parents do, is build worthwhile human beings to force the world into a better place than our own. Attacking retailers for surface idealism, however, is not.

The writers of the show obviously had more in mind than glorifying a drug-trade – which it barely does – and speaks to the social ills of the world more than what a Florida mother obviously understands. Walter White did what he had to do and was pushed to do it by failed legislative habits in the war on drugs and corporate greed so prevalent in the health industry. It’s not his fault this country pillages from the sick and has to struggle for survival via any means necessary. It’s ours.

Let’s also barely acknowledge the fact that he’s a teacher, surely getting paid in garbage with shit bonuses, and would obviously have little savings to fight personal disaster. He doesn’t get paid enough because our taxes are going elsewhere to make more bombs and line pockets of oil magnates. But that’s a whole other Dr. Phil.

Breaking Bad features failed educational policies too? Wow, this show was so much more than meth Mrs. Schrivier – we wish you had taken the time out of your busy schedule of starting online petitions (which is the adult version of a chain letter) to really think about what a simple figurine is going to do to children.

The show isn’t just about meth; it’s about society’s ultimate failures – which is far more destructive than a phony little bag of plastic dope will ever be.

Also, to the mothers who commented on the petition such as Jaime Keasler of Buford, GA who says, “It's sick that a company would design kids toys that glorify the making of meth. It's just as sick to sell them…,” and Kethleen Tenorio of Denver, CO who says, “I am stunned that such dolls are made. I never once watched the show because I see nothing entertaining about methamphetamine, or the sleazy world of drugs,” we say:

Look at the world around you. Do you really think that a toy doll is the biggest concern we have? It’s there, it’s reality. Use it and things like it to teach your sons or daughters about the existing world around them and avoid sheltering them from socially manipulated standards that have been proven to not hold up. Watch the show, it’s nothing of what you think it to be.

Dialogue is absolutely the most effective tool parents have to build a better person when steering children through their formative years. Banning toys from stores is shutting down dialogue and essentially making inattentive parent’s jobs easier because facing the reality of the world and teaching children how to traverse within it is missing.

Lock the shutters, bolt every door and scream outrage from the safety of an unpluggable wifi – it’s the easiest way out, after all. </rant>

To contact the writer of this article, Brian Frederick, email: Brian@TheRooster.com