Sometimes it's not the thought that counts at all, but how badass of a gift it really is.
Don't find yourself demoted to the "bad kid" this holiday season — get a step up on the sibling competition when it comes to gift giving. Our gifts might not be appropriate most of the time, but neither are your drunk grandma's comments about race issues. And everyone still loves her, right?
Pickles / Bloody Mary Mix
The Real Dill
As a Colorado cannery, The Real Dill jars a pickle party every mouth wants to attend in each of its products. The unique (but insatiably delicious) flavors run the gamut in variety — even offering a seasonal collaboration with Odell Brewing in its “Myrcenary” wort pickles. Couple that with its widely popular Bloody Mary Mix and kiss soggy, store-bought brands bye-bye. They’re kind of a big dill.
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M420 w/ Sherlock Attachment
Incredibowl Industries
Featuring mind-blowing performance, patented filtration, rugged design and simple cleaning, the m420 is a favorite for everyone from connoisseurs to casual smokers. And nothing says it’s the holidays quite like getting your mind blown.
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The Cannabis Kitchen Cookbook
Robyn Griggs Lawrence
Celebrate the year in recreational marijuana by giving the gift of marijuana consumption. The book offers recipes to serve up a Baked French Toast with Cannabis Honey and Pecan Sauce, or Grilled Romaine Hearts with Olive Cannabis Dressing. De-F'ing-licious.
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Unofficial Cards Against Humanity Colorado Expansion Pack
Uncalled Four
Now that fart jokes and death threats aren’t as funny as they used to be during the holidays, why not turn to a card game where there’s a possibility to film grandma hilariously answering, “Hate fucking a Subaru” with Uncalled Four’s expansion pack? It’s by Colorado, for Colorado.
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Local Bourbon
10th Mountain Whiskey and Spirit Company
Vail’s first premier distillery understood our après-ski desires and delivers a smooth, vanilla whiskey we tend to enjoy on the slopes. It's perfect for any loved one with good taste.
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Deliciousness
Red Camper
Colorado boozes paired with Colorado foodzes — the Red Camper alcohol-based preservatives are mind blowing. Some might say they’re packed with “Deliciousness” in every bite? The company also specializes in unique paper products, such as a stellar 'Camping Journal' so people can leave their stupid phones at home while campside.
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Cannabis Products
Leafs by Snoop
It was bound to happen, and now it has. The King of Cannabis has his own brand of weed products, and they’re only available in Colorado dispensaries. From flower to wax, edibles to wearable gear, Leafs by Snoop is the next generation of celebrity endorsements.
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Cannabis Infused Personal Lubricant
Foria
A holly jolly Christmas takes on an entirely new meaning with cannabis-infused sexual lubricant. No matter the family dysfunction at your house this year, Foria should help you and your loved one remember why you moved away in the first place.
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Raspberry Sour
Avery Brewing Co.
For that special person in your life, tickle their tastebuds and tug on their heart strings with Avery’s seasonal beer of happiness. Whether or not you like sours, or raspberries, this ale will give you the holiday joy you’ve long been missing.
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Big Ass Brick Of Soap
Duke Cannon Supply Company
Is that the smell of accomplishment? Damn right it is. Lather their man-hide this holiday season with Duke Cannon’s big ass brick of soap. It’s designed to meet the high standards of hard-working men and the scent is inspired by drinking a fine scotch in a wood-paneled den.
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Winter Warlock Oatmeal Stout
Bristol Brewing
Remember the smell of your mom’s warm breakfast oatmeal when coming home for the holidays? We do too. Your mom is great. So is this. It's a similar experience, only in liquid form and without the attitude.
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Horsetooth Hot Sauce 3-pack
Horsetooth Hot Sauces
Kill two birds with one stone by showing your roommates you care about them while restocking the community hot sauce stash. Giving the gift that keeps on giving to both you and that person you care about is what the holidays are all about.
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More Local Bourbon
Laws Whiskey House
Give the gift of staying warm this winter with a bottle of four grain straight heaven from Law Whiskey House. The Denver distillery understands that a great whiskey, like a great story, is meant to be shared. So overshare away with friends around a roaring fire.
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Elevated Cocktails Rum Recipes
Montanya Distillery
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We’ve got the number-one rum distiller in the world right here in our backyard, and now the people behind Montanya Rum have written a book about how to use it. “Elevated Cocktails” is brimming with rum recipes from master distiller Karen Hoskin’s long tenure as a drink slinger. Cheers!
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Calm or Caffeine Chocolate Candies
Good Day Chocolates
Chocolate and the holidays go together like airlines and bad service. Only this chocolate delivers calming or uplifting benefits you won’t believe exist. How do they do it?
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Hibernation Ale
Great Divide Brewing Co.
Greet the season with a dry-hop beer from one of CO’s largest micro-breweries. Since 1995, this winter tradition has won multiple awards and given plenty of offices something exciting to talk about after the holiday party's moral hangovers subside.
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Old Jubilation Ale
Avery Brewing Co.
Welcome in the cold with a full-flavored, dark mahogany ale that tastes like it should be accompanied with a bowl of chestnuts. You smell that? That's the holiday spirit.
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Cosmo's Spicy Ranch
Cosmo's Pizza
Colorado’s delicious addiction now comes pre-packaged and ready to be lathered on anything and everything. Enjoy with food, licked from the jar or rubbed all over anyone's delicate body — either way, don’t miss out on the spicy ranch that makes unicorn tears seem bland.
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Pumpkin Pie Edibles
Sweet Grass Kitchen
Pumpkin products are normally overdone by the time the holidays come around (thanks, white girls), but don’t let that deter you from this decadent marijuana edible that tastes like it should be on the menu of a Michelin-starred restaurant.
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"Pot Holder"
GAMAGO
Prove you're the funny one in the family by sending that obnoxious midwest-dwelling cousin of yours who keeps asking you to mail them weed something less felonious. When all else fails, kitsch reigns supreme.
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Peppermint Bark Edibles
Blue Kudu
Layers of white and dark chocolate with peppermint pieces await this holiday season. Not only does it cure a holiday sweet tooth, the 100 mg of THC will also cure any concerns of dealing with January's credit card statements.
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No-toe Women's Panties
Camelflage
Say no to toe. Camelflage stops the embarrassing protrusion by including a flexible and breathable insert in the panties to smooth out lady parts. It’s much cheaper than the other alternative: “designer vagina” surgery.
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Night Crawlers Edibles
Edipure
Candy always makes for the perfect gift, especially when it’s infused with legal cannabis. Give the gift of a childhood memory lane with the chewy gummy worms repurposed with much, much better ingredients.
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