There's nothing America loves more than suing the living shit out of each other, and we've got the stories to prove it.

Double Bagger

A Nebraska man believes Walmart's ineptitude in the department of bagging groceries is what led to his wife's death and is therefore suing the Bentonville, AL retailer for more than $600,000. William Freis claims a Walmart cashier over-filled one of his and his wife's grocery bags with two 42-ounce cans of La Choy and a two-pound bag of rice. When the couple left the store, the plastic bag tore, dropping one of the cans on his wife's foot, cutting it. It became infected and "ultimately resulted in her death." Freis says Walmart is responsible for training its employees about the proper bagging technique. That might be the case. But we're guessing if the infection didn't kill her, the sodium from 84 ounces of La Choy surely would have.

Church Bell Hell

Normally church bells denote a time of joy and happiness. But for one Rhode Island Man, it's the exact opposite. John Devaney filed suit against a Rhode Island church claiming the incessant ringing of the church bells ruined his marriage. The St. Thomas More Catholic Parish's bells ring some 700 times a week, and Mr. Devaney is the man for whom the bell tolls. He says the bells have left him a constant bad mod and led to increased arguments with his wife. Furthermore, they keep waking up his mistress.

Surgical Pranks

Doctors in California proved once again that intelligence and sense of humor don't go hand-in-hand after a lawsuit filed by a California woman claimed that during surgery, the anesthesiologist and doctor apparently applied fake mustaches and teardrops to her face, snapped photos, then showed them to coworkers. The young lady, who worked at the hospital, went in for minor surgery on her finger and came out offering mustache rides. Sadly, what more do you expect from doctors working in socialized medicine?