God, we're so on the forefront. We're on it so hard.
It’s no surprise that everyone in Colorado is stoned approximately 420 percent of the time. We’re sure most of you are in your kitchens right now making some stoner concoction that even Andrew Zimmern would be afraid to try — but also forgetting about things and laughing at your ankles.
Still, somehow Colorado’s marijuana minions have managed to motivate themselves to leave the house, spending a concerning majority of their hard-earned cash on tons (literally tons) of weed. In the past year alone, Colorado has raked in $70 million in tax dollars from legal weed … a rough equivalent to 2.4 million half-eighths of purple haze, 14 million pre-rolled joints, or 20.7 million chicken quesadillas from Taco Bell.
Why is this a big deal? Because, babies, that $70 million signals the first time ever, in the history of human beings, that people have spent more money on weed than alcohol here. Our little state is leading the charge!
But don’t worry, alcoholics: by the looks of things, people are still hitting the sauce pretty hard, with $42 million in tax revenue coming in from the likes of Buzzballs and Sailor Jerry. This year’s alcohol revenue surpassed last year’s by about two million big ones, which means that not only are people getting very, very high in Colorado, they’re also drinking more than they were last year. Party on, collective Waynes.
However, there might be a slight air of bullshit wafting around. Although numerically it may seem like people are spending more money on weed than booze in Colorado these days, it may just be that weed is way more expensive. Weed and booze are taxed differently, so it’s hard to make an exact comparison between the two. Alcohol is taxed by volume, whereas marijuana is taxed by price. And with the 10 percent state marijuana tax, plus the 2.9 percent state sales tax, plus the 15 percent excise tax … PLUS any local sales tax … it’s safe to say that Colorado residents and out-of-towners are getting taxed really, really hard on weed.
Still, there's good news: Since the state totally underestimated how much tax money it would make off weed, voters will be getting an IRS tax refund, and will be able to decide what to spend the overflow cash on come the November polls. So far, prospects include school construction or school grants; think of the children! Residents can also vote to get a state refund equaling somewhere between $6-16. Think about all the weed you can buy with that! A whole gram today, or like 30 tons 10 years ago! Perfect.