… Which is a hundred. That's right, burrito crusader Michael Odbert is eating all the burritos, taking all the photos, and revolutionizing all the dying art of photojournalism with his striking series of half-eaten food tubes on Instagram.

 

… Which is a hundred. That's right, burrito crusader Michael Odbert is eating all the burritos, taking all the photos, and revolutionizing all the dying art of photojournalism with his striking series of half-eaten food tubes on Instagram.

But not only has Michael eaten over 100 burritos in the past year, he's also managed to keep his figure trim, and his poops are normal. He was even in an Illegal Pete's burrito-eating contest, and he took home third place. Or maybe second. He can't remember. He has more important things to consider, like whether he'd like black or pinto beans in that food torpedo.

Keep your panties on ladies.

He's become a bit of an Instagram sensation in lieu of his pioneering ability to slay burrito after burrito without batting an eye, his willingness to assert his authority over the humble peasant food, and his unwavering commitment to eating the same thing almost every day. His photos convey a mixture of lust, reverence, and dominance over his subjects, bringing to mind the question, "What is true art if it isn't this?" It's a miracle of photojournalism, a key to the lock of the previously unknown world of burrito-wrangling. Ladies, what did we tell you about those panties?

His burrito slaying is, in addition to being entirely manly, also very timely. The rise of his Instagram has coincided with a recent report that Chipotle CEO Steve Ells is grotesquely over-paid … which makes us wonder: is Michael Odbert paying Steve Ells' salary? He did say his favorite burrito place was Chipotle.

All of this adds up to one, glaringly obvious statement: Colorado is the burrito illuminati and Michael is the overlord.

… The plot thickens quicker than some queso at room temperature …

Here are some of his burrito conquests. Loot at him go!

Oh, and in case you're wondering, burrito-expert Michael says that, without a doubt, this is the best burrito you can get in Colorado:

Wheat tortilla, brown rice, half pinto beans, half black beans, half pulled pork, half shredded beef, queso, pico, a good chunk of the house hot jalapenos, cilantro, lettuce, and guacamole (which is free if you don’t get cheese or sour cream). Corn is optional, but I usually go for it. The trick is the half and half beans and half and half pulled pork/shredded beef.

Do you agree? Disagree? It doesn't matter until you've eaten hordes of Mexican treats like Mike. He's got a billion more on his Instagram, and you can check them out there. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have between 1 and 350 burritos to eat.