They're replacing Play Places with individual smoking pods so people can get high enough to eat the food?

McDonald’s has been in a sales slump over the last three years and is looking towards reinventing its brand (cue the desperate 24-hour breakfast gimmick). But can Colorado’s massive population of stoners and potheads expose an untapped market?

Think about it: you have to be at least sorta-kinda high to eat there anyway, so from a business perspective, it makes perfect sense that McDonald’s would cater to the unique needs of its pot-loving patrons by accommodating their need for weed.

But what would that mix of marijuana and McDonald’s even look like? The answer, according to a Now8News report, is the installation of “smoking pods” in Colorado restaurants.

Imagine a sort of wide, single-occupancy transparent pod connected to an exhaust system that allows individuals to smoke their strain of choice while they graze on McNuggets and McSomethin’s. Row upon row of individual dank-incubation chambers could take the place of Play Places and disease-ridden ball pits, allowing overwhelmed parents to truly relax in the moment of quiet and solitude a child’s face stuffed with Fish Fillet offers.

Plus, the pods could distract from the horrific experience of eating McDonald’s food. Completely stoned dollar menu-goers are likely to be a lot less occupied with the actual ingredients in their pink slimewiches once they’ve been good and distracted by the restaurant’s new reefer-friendly installations. And what do you do when you have the munchies from all that weed? Buy more slimewiches? Cha-ching.

The Now8News report reveals that several McDonald’s restaurants in Colorado announced plans to convert Play Places into these legal smoking sections. According to the source: “Each facility will consist of 15 smoking pods in which customers can smoke a joint, bong, or pipe without being harassed or bothered by people who are offended by it.”

The report claims that two Denver locations had already converted their play areas into the aforementioned marijuana-friendly smoking sections, with another 13 franchises on board to complete renovations by the end of this year.

Oh Nancy, a massive corporation catering to the federally illegal interests of Colorado stoners with a brilliant marketing plan? Is this all just too good to be true?

Yes, you idiots.

Unfortunately, the fake report went viral online before the truth that the story was fabricated came to light. The news of its falsity is disappointing though; fresh off that wake-n-bake, plenty of Colorado stoners had already put on their flip-flops and were halfway out the door for that 1 p.m. flapjack fix before the smoke cleared on the fake bulletin.

Because, you see, a quick reading of the original news article without using basic reasoning or minimal logic reveals that the genius idea actually almost holds water. It's within the realm of possibility given Colorado's friendly apporach to weed and the trillions of dollars a company like McDonald's would have to organize a stunt like that. However, although Colorado has legalized the use of marijuana, it is still illegal to smoke or consume it publicly.

Perhaps this was the perfect opportunity for the wilting golden arches and they’ve let this idea slip right through their supersized, pre-diabetic fingers. In the meantime, this neeeeds a Kickstarter campaign.