No thank you occifer, we'll take the bullet instead …
'Tis the season for DUIs, and along with them, an intimidating saturation of police forces on the road to pick up sloppy partiers.
To combat the holiday tradition each year, law enforcement offices around the nation look for new and innovative ways to deter people from getting behind the wheel, often with dismal results. However, one such county in the middle-of-nowhere Minnesota is pushing the limits of human decency. If you're busted for a DUI in Wyoming, Minnesota, officers there promise to torture you with One Direction cover bands all the way back to the station.
Do NOT drive drunk. I will find you. I will arrest you. I will make you listen to One Direction cover bands on the way to jail.
— Wyoming, MN Police (@wyomingpd) November 23, 2016
So not only do you face the social embarrassment of catching papers on a DUI (not to mention the massive hit bank accounts suffer with each charge), but you can't even listen to the real band on the way back to the station — a drive that's likely not going to be short considering there isn't anything important within fifteen-thousand miles of this tiny town of 8,000 people.
And don't kid yourself, you're not going to enjoy it …
"But there aren't any One Direction cover bands," you say? Think again. At this point in time, there are literally dozens of dudes out in the world waking up with a simple dream of trying to be more 'Directional' — of how they can be an exact replica of someone that already exists.
No thank you occifer, we'll take the bullet instead.