With Crowds on Demand, you can hire a crowd of people to pretend they like you. If only this service was available for your Sweet Sixteen … you'd have so many less cats right now.  

Ever watched a political rally or a candidate speech and wondered how it's possible that many people took time away from their busy lives to gather in unsanitary crowds and cheer feverishly like baboons? That many people can't really be that passionate about electing would-be sexual predator Mike Huckabee, can they?

Well, ccording to Crowds on Demand, they can … or at least they can be paid to pretend to be. 

Crowds on Demand is a "rent a crowd" service that provides its clients with the ability to hire actors to pose as fans. And that's sad for two reasons. First, anytime you have to pay people to pretend they like you, that's more depressing than your Dad's successful new family in Maine. Second, as an actor, posing as a crowdmember enthusiastically supporting Jeb Bush is just … 


Nonetheless, Crowds on Demand is heavily-used service. According to a recent interview with founder/CEO Adam Swart, politicians in particular use their services a lot. 

"We have worked with dozens of candidates in the US primarily but not exclusively Republican," Swart said. "Mostly they are candidates who suffer from lack of enthusiasm/turnout at rallies and in need of a ‘game change.'"

Swart says the candidates Crowds on Demand have worked with have mostly been congressional/senate candidates. They've only worked with one presidential candidate so far, but Swart refused to name who it was. Our bet is on one of the eleventy million struggling GOP candidates who've over-saturated the Republican race to a comical extent … but it's also a known fact that Hillary Clinton has used rent-a-crowd services so she can know ahead of time who to interact with. 

Swart did, however, explain in handy alpha-numeric format why he thinks the rent-a-crowd approach has lead to increased poll numbers and made the margin of victory: 

A) Photo-ops at rallies. Having a diverse group of people (race/gender/age) around the candidate is critical especially for those who are constantly followed by reporters but even for those who only get a couple pieces per day.

B) Enthusiastic crowds bring more media attention and shift the narrative onto grassroots supporters. Press always want to understand why people support candidate x or candidate y. Giving them great footage of enthusiastic supporters speaking about their love for the candidate provides great quotations

C) Gives a sense of legitimacy for the candidate among their existing supporters. When they see lots of enthusiastic folks at rallies, they feel like they’re backing the right horse.

D) Bolsters the candidates’ self-confidence. Some candidates knew about the paid crowds and other times we have been hired by outside organizations. In both cases, seeing more supporters gave them the confidence to up their game on stage.

As for how Crowds-On-Demand ensures that none of the actors leak that they've been hired, the company requires all of them to sign non-disclosure agreements. 

"Our crowd members work for us on a regular basis and understand we value discretion given the sensitive nature of the business," he said. "The ‘leak’ issue has only happened on one occasion over the past three years."

So, next time you see that rabid crowd incomprehensibly cheering for Donald Trump's 2016 presidential run, chances are most of those people are paid to be there.  

And now that we know that, just one lingering question remains: does Crowds on Demand do baby showers? Because we sure as shit aren't going to Jennifer's, that slimy bitch.