Hold on folks, the ride is quickly coming to an end …

Hold on folks, the ride is quickly coming to an end. And unless you were hiding in the vast openness of Hillary Clinton’s missing email servers, you likely experienced more drama than anyone cares to handle over the past 12 months. From the death of our dearest Purple One to Pokémons Gone Wild — 2016 really was one of the most fucked up years ever:

President Trump
As if this story needs to take up any more 0s and 1s on the Internet. As TIME Magazine says, there’s no denying this drunk uncle completely dominated the media cycle in 2016 — and by the looks of things, likely will for at least the next 4 years. Harambe help us.

Pokémon Go(ne)
And if people weren’t relentlessly spouting off about a loud-mouthed fascist, they were outside pretending to get exercise. The game, which uses an innovative platform called augmented reality, was the quickest of its kind to reach $500 million in revenue (it took only 63 days). Only a few months later, however, it lost more than half of its users. *sad horn*

Cubs’ World Series
It took them 108 years and a few sacrificed goats, but the Chicago Cubs finally won a World Series title. In related news: The devil is enjoying a frosty iced mocha in hell.

Prince/ Bowie / Willy Wonka
Three of the most influential artists to ever walk the planet, gone in a matter of months? Either someone is playing a sick joke, or we’re completely missing the point of life. Either way, there’s a hell of a party going on in heaven right now.

Vine’s 6 Seconds
Twitter announced in late October that it would be shutting down Vine, a social media platform built around quick clips of video. Coincidentally, 16,000 Vine Superstars are now out of work looking for their next 6 seconds of fame.

Amazing Tech
The year wasn’t all doom and gloom, consider this: A 24-year-old man named Ian Burkhart that had previously been paralyzed from the chest down regained control of his right hand with the help of an implanted computer chip in his brain. It’s a massive step towards some incredible things happening with the future of science.

Climbing Carbon
Oh, great, the carbon dioxide level inside of our life-giving atmosphere is the highest it’s been in over 66 million years — before humans even existed. Let’s look on the bright side though, next year it’ll be even higher, so as of right now, we’re comparatively ‘good.’

Michael Fuckin’ Phelps 
Dude broke a record set by the ancient Grecian Leonidas in 152 B.C. this year at the Olympics in Rio. He now has a total of 28 medals, 23 of them gold.

Dicks Out
Speaking of Harambe, who knew that a gorilla being killed in a routine child-cage extraction would be the Internet’s biggest meme in history? And it all started with a 24-year-old comedian who doesn’t know how to DJ very well. Times, they are a changin’.

Damn Daniel
And no 2016 would be complete without your annoying friends still saying “Damn Daniel” every time something remotely basic happens. A few high school kids film everything they do and the next thing you know, they’re on Ellen.

Deadliest Shooting
The PULSE Nightclub shooting in Orlando, FL, is the deadliest shooting on American soil in recent history — claiming the lives of 49 people and wounding dozens of others. Great work America, really something to be proud of.

Deadliest Fire
So 2016 couldn’t just stop at Orlando? Recently a fire in a DIY space in Oakland, CA, Claimed the lives of 36 people — the deadliest fire in over 13 years (a fire at the Station nightclub in Warwick, RI, claimed 100 lives and injured more than 200 others in 2003). 

Deadliest Hot Air Balloon Crash
In mid-summer, all 16 people aboard a hot air balloon in Kyle, TX, were killed when the craft they were on veered into power lines and caught on fire mid-air. It’s the worst of its kind the country has ever seen.

Wait a minute, no, I know you guys, you’re not who you say you are — you’re those people who hate people for being people. Yep, I knew it, racists. You’re not fooling anyone …

Brexit? Bless You.
So what’s this all about now? Not sure, but it apparently lies heavily in extreme xenophobia. Britain, once part of the European Union, held a vote in June and decided to GTFO. So there’s hope for the U.S. that California and Texas might one day do the same.

Dildos for the Militia
Heavily armed dudes in camo hats locked themselves in an abandoned wildlife refuge building and a bunch of people sent them dildos in the mail. That’s about all you need to know about this.

Oh, wait, we forgot to mention those militia guys were found innocent on all charges for literally pointing rifles at the heads of police and armed forces. Which takes us to the Dakota Access Pipeline, a long standoff between ‘water protectors’ and big oil companies. These people got shot with rubber bullets and were attacked by dogs for wanting clean water and accountability from corporations. Strange year, eh?

NFL Leaderboard
And wouldn’t you know it, 2016 wants to send us a hearty ‘fuck you’ before ending it all. So here they sit, the Oakland Raiders are one of the top teams in the NFL right now — an organization that hasn’t won a Super Bowl since 1984 or even had a post-season game since frosted tips were in style in 2002.

Go home 2016, you’re drunk.