Someone upstairs is listening to your prayers, because booze and beefy, crazy chalupas now go hand in hand.
Let us ask you a question: When do you go to Taco Bell?
If you answered, "When I'm drunk," you are 100 percent of people. But thanks to a game-changing announcement, Taco Bell no longer has to be a destination for drunks … it can also be part of the journey as well.
That's right babies: Taco Bell is about to start serving alcohol.
We're all like:
Yeehaw, America! Is there anything Taco Bell can't do? What's next? "Taco Bell serves McDonald's?" Is it weird that we're horny right now?
According to the Chicago Eater, Taco Bell will open its first ever booze-slinging location this summer in Wicker Park. Sayeth them:
Management’s applied for a liquor license, which would make it the first Bell in the world to serve alcohol with Doritos Locos Tacos and other menu items. A Yum! Brands spokeswoman added that The Bell’s also planning a “completely new urban restaurant design” for the Wicker Park space.
Back in February there were rumblings that only the second U.S. Taco Co. would land in the Wicker Park space at 1439 N. Milwaukee Ave., but a Yum! Brands rep shot that rumor down at the time, saying the Wicker Park restaurant would be a normal Taco Bell. But booze and this “completely new design” are anything but normal. The rep wouldn’t offer up anymore details at this time.
Stay tuned—the restaurant is slated to open sometime this summer.
Wow … that's really the most brilliant marketing scheme we've ever seen.
Drunk + Hungry = Taco Bell
Taco Bell + More Drunk = More Taco Bell
More Drunk + Beefy, Cheesy Chalupas = You Never Leave.
That's it. You never leave. Next thing you know, Taco Bell will have bunk beds and water mattresses for its customers so they can rest peacefully after the drinking and the gordita-ing, and when they wake up, they can sample Taco Bell's new breakfast menu while simultaneously reliving the caloric nightmare that was their last 24 hours every day from now until end of eternity … or at least until they run out of beefy cheese beef.
It's like the Hotel California of fast food. Or prison. YAY!