A new bill aimed at legalizing hemp and high-CBD medical marijuana on the federal scale was introduced into Congress on Monday. But before you get your Snoop Dogg weed leaf panties in a bunch, let's talk it through together, because it might not be as valiant and effort as we're praying to the ganja gods that it is.

A new bill aimed at legalizing hemp and high-CBD medical marijuana on the federal scale was introduced into Congress on Monday. But before you get your Snoop Dogg weed leaf panties in a bunch, let's talk it through together, because it might not be as valiant and effort as we're praying to the ganja gods that it is.

The bill, called the “Charlotte’s Web Medical Hemp Act of 2014," is named after the Colorado-developed marijuana strain famous for treating epileptic seizures in Charlotte Fiji and other Colorado children. It would declassify hemp and certain strains of high CBD to THC ratio medical marijuana from the federal controlled substances list, making them legal for everyone over 21 with a social security number or really good border-crossing skills to use.

The bill, funny enough, was introduced by the last person we thought would introduce a medical marijuana measure; Republican Congressman Scott Perry from Pennsylvania. He was inspired by the dozens of families that moved to Colorado to seek marijuana-based treatments for a variety of health problems, as well as by three Pennsylvanian families who approached him about marijuana-based treatments for their children's epilepsy after seeing what it did for Charlotte.

But he wants to be clear: he's no stoner sympathizer. "This bill in no way changes my stance on marijuana — I still disagree with the recreational use of marijuana," Perry said in a statement. "However, these children and individuals like them deserve a chance to lead a healthy and productive life and our government shouldn’t stand in the way." It's a noble cause, but therein lies the first issue; although Perry supports legalization of certain types of medical marijuana, those types don't account for all medical marijuana and therefore may alienate people with certain illnesses that don't respond to high-CBD weed or hemp from receiving the benefits of the bill.

Furthermore, although the bill would be a huge step towards legalizing medical marijuana, it still has a long way to go before it becomes a reality. Similar federal bills that involve weed have stalled, namely the one from U.S. Rep. Ed Perlmutter that would allow legal dispensaries to get bank accounts so they could stop working in strictly cash. However, the recent shift in attitude towards weed, particularly that by the New York Times when they published their statement that marijuana should be entirely decriminalized, may help measures like the Charlotte's Web Act push through the House with a little more gusto.

So, as you can see, the Charlotte's Web bill is a nice idea that comes from a good place, and it does represent a positive advancement for the medical marijuana cause. But, like any bill that goes through the ringer, there's pros and cons to it. Like these:

PROS:

1. People suffering from certain diseases such as epilepsy would have a safer way, healthier, and less expensive way to treat and manage them.

2. Legalizing anything at the federal level is a step in the right direction.

3. There's less potential for abuse of low-CBD marijuana since its psychoactive component, THC, would be so low.

4. Federally-legalized strains would create dispensary, cultivation, and likewise-related jobs.

5. There's potential for tax revenue benefit; the federal government could charge income tax on those jobs.

CONS:

1. It's not full medical. Only strains with very low THC would be decriminalized, which means that people who get health benefits from THC would not be affected (unless they live in a state where medical marijuana is legal).

2. Limiting the bill to include only hemp and high-CBD strains also limits the kinds of medical conditions that marijuana could help. Although everyone reacts differently to weed and various concentrations of THC and CBD, THC is known to soothe anxiety, depression, insomnia, slow the progression of Alzheimer's disease, ease chronic pain, regulate blood sugar, relieve painful symptoms of IBS and lupus, and about a million other things. This bill is specifically targeted at the treatment of epilepsy.

3. The tax revenue would ostensibly be greater if more strains of medical (and recreational, duh) marijuana were legalized.

4. The Charlotte's Web Act is a major step in the right direction when it comes to legalizing weed, but will it be enough? Chances are after the bill is introduced, a similar bill to decriminalize weed on the federal level will be drawn up, possibly one with less-strict concentration stipulations. So is there even a point in spending the time and money passing it now?

So is the bill a successful effort? Sure. It's not the revolutionary measure it's being hailed as, but it's not without it's benefits.

But whether it passes or not, one thing's for sure. Until weed prohibition is entirely repealed, people will still be coming to states like Colorado and Washington for medical and recreational pot (a nice boost for the our little Colorado economy), and the people that live here will still be within arms reach of a safer treatment for their health issues. So pat yourselves on the back, Colorado (and Washington, you're cool too sometimes), because we're in a good place to be right now.

In other news, where's our penis bong?