… and Obama reveals he is going to star in an episode of Bear Grylls' survivor show. WHAT. IS. HAPPENING.
New videos released by the Kremlin show a spritley Vladimir Putin getting in a solid workout, flexing that dad-bod and dispelling rumors the Russian leader’s health has waned over the last six months.
In the video, Vladimir Putin and Prime Minister, Dmitry Medvedev, casually roll-up in nearly identical full track suits before losing their jackets to pump some iron. After the workout, Putin grills up his breakfast of choice. which consists of two smoldering slabs of meat. Who knew Putin was down with that paleo diet?
Apparently nothing gets ol’ Rootin’ Tootin’ Putin ready for a regional proxy war like an inverted Thigh Master and bodyweight calf-raises. Which just proves, even the man who has everything still dreams of having the sculpted, golden ass cheeks one could bounce a devalued Ruble off of.
In the past, Russia has released videos and/or photos of a majestic Putin shirtless on a horse, flying a jet, hunting tigers and navigating the depths of the Black Sea in mini-submarine.
The videos are part of the Kremlin’s strategy to maintain Putin’s personality cult and public image as a man’s man. Although, one really has to question the machismo and intimidation-factor of man with a comb-over in orthopedic tennis shoes or who qualifies for Waffle House's senior breakfast.
Is Obama’s recent announcement about an appearance on Bear Grylls’ reality show a mere coincidence? We think not. All of the ‘Obama is weak’ Fox News pundit talk has the White House making moves, and nothing says ‘machismo’ like a three-day hike through the Alaskan tundra with a urine-drinking, shit-gurgling, alligator-wrestling survivalist.
While Putin is off doing low-impact Tae Bo at the Y, Obama will be learning to fashion a putrid sheep carcass into a flotation device.
Your move, Kremlin.