We spoke to Ralphie moments before he entered Colorado with some plans of his own on where to visit first …

Ralphie May is the widespread comic who often boasts he’s, “Too big too ignore.” His stature is the least of his hilarity prowess, however, because his comedic fortitude is something unmatched in the world of stand-up. His observational material is always fresh, always thought provoking and most alluring of all, it’s funny as fuck. Or, as funny as any one single fuck can be?

He will be hosting AXS TV’s “Live at Gotham” in the coming year and says he has more TV appearances happening with HBO and others in the future. Top that with an insane road schedule and his year is fairly locked in already.

We spoke to Ralphie moments before entering Colorado to perform at a variety of places around the state. He says he’s looking forward to the crowd, but first — much like every other artist coming though Colorado — he has to check out the weed situation and tread thusly.

How are you? It’s early. Are you a little sideways from being on the road for so long?

Ya, it’s a little early, but I’m about to enter Colorado, so I’m gonna smoke some reefer and I’ll be alright.

It’s necessary. We’re looking at your schedule now too, and it looks like you’re spoken for until Spring …

No, it’s longer than that. We just released a new schedule. I’m almost booked through all of this year already.

Sweet lord, no kidding? How do you combat those road blues? That’s a long time being away from being a real person.

Yes! That is hard. That’s oddly what people pay their money for. They think they pay their money for a joke, but they don’t, they pay money for me not being in my bed and not sleeping next to my wife and hugging on my babies.

Is there certain things to do to kill time? Skype a ton?

Ya, lots of Skype, a lot of Skype …

… boy this is the happiest interview I’ve ever done, Jesus Christ. [laughs]

We like to bring people down early, you’re welcome.

Yes, thank you. [laughs]

Speaking to the Internet’s availability now with things like Skype, do you feel like comedy is being ruined by it? If someone sees a joke on YouTube already before you perform, it messes up the standup, ya?

Well it’s ruining comedy for lazy, lazy comedians. I know a guy that’s been doing the same stuff for over 20 years, and it’s a lazy son of a bitch. Now he’s gotta retire. It makes you wonder why. Well its because he didn’t write any new jokes. He didn’t go out of his way.

Me, I’ve put out seven albums in the last ten years. I’ve recorded over 14 hours of material in that time and if somebody can beat that I don’t know who they are. Louis C.K. can’t, Chris Rock can’t … you know, I’m in pretty good company.

How about the comedy world being under attack? One wrong word and there’s 50 million people against you online. It’s even literally under attack with the Charlie Hebdo nonsense, too …

Oh ya, man, ya, you know that’s horrible. But crazy people will do crazy things. I’m a guy that’s often told that I’ve got bad people saying, “Hey you’re gonna get killed.” I’ve gotten death threats, I’ve been to war zones. I’m not really afraid of that stuff, though. I’ve lived a good life and if something happens … if I do get hurt over a joke … my kids are taken care of, my wife is taken care of … so I don’t care.

It is like you’re in your own battle against censorship and you’ve chosen comedy as your weapon …

Exactly. It’s so funny people get mad at one joke, but hey, I’m doing over two hours of material. I’ll make you laugh somewhere in there!

Do you see certain parts of the country where they laugh more and with others it’s just like hitting crickets?

Oh yeah, well it’s not so much hitting crickets, but they’re just more uptight. In more politically correct places they’re way more uptight. Seattle, San Francisco, uptight, uptight, uptight.

Well here in Colorado we definitely have our PC crowds, but we think they’ll just be too stoned to care …

[laughs] Amen to that brother, if that’s true then I’ve already won, trust me.

Colorado Show Deets:

Tuesday, Jan 13 @ Colorado Springs Fine Arts Center – Colorado Springs, CO
Wednesday, Jan 14 @ Boulder Theater – Boulder, CO
Thursday, Jan 15 @ Avalon Theater – Grand Junction, CO
Saturday, Jan 17 @ Vilar Performing Arts Center – Beaver Creek, CO

Cover Photo Credit: Robert Sebree