Hello Denverites. This post is for you. Only read it if you're a fourth-generation native or have been here at least four months.
If you can't get enough of the Mile High City, if you cherish every scenic drive past the Purina Dog Chow factory, with your 18 labrador fur babies you rescued from a top-notch breeder, if you moved to Denver because it called to your soul and you can't afford San Francisco, if the only thing you thirst for more than craft beer and CBD kombucha is to be even more Denver, to be Denvererererer, the Denverest of Denver-ness in all of Denveropolis, hop on the Internet and snowboard — not surf — over to Reddit's r/DenverCircleJerk.
Nobody nails the glory and the hole that is the Queen City of the Plains better than the mob of satirists at DenverCircleJerk, sending up the beer-goggled enthusiasm of Reddit's r/Denver — and also every lovable bro-brah and mountain girl who's ever moved from CalTexaLorida to ski-tour City Park with their unvaccinated children (Ashleyanneaxion, River and StarStuff) while voting to legalize shrooms.
To be clear, Reddit, (official motto: "Less dumb than Facebook") is still great, the second-best site for sitting on the toilet and kind of looking at your phone — after, of course, Rooster Magazine — in part because it can make fun of itself. It has a long tradition of CircleJerks, making fun of the mob and hive-mind nature of Reddit.
Any sub on Reddit eventually gets algorithm'ed into sameness: the same types of posts get upvoted, so the same people post more of the same types of posts, until the posts have a sameness that eventually makes you wonder if we're all still autonomous organic beings with souls, or just bots that drink beer.
So DenverCircleJerk does a great job poking fun at the algorithm'ed up, self-selecting, over-the-top love, and blind allegiance of Denverites to:
Subies
What was Colorado like before the Subaru Outback was invented? from r/DenverCirclejerk
Does anyone have a picture of the sunset tonight? from r/DenverCirclejerk
Pretty pics of our city
The denver skyline really is one of the most beautiful on earth from r/DenverCirclejerk
Love wakin up to this everyday. Denver is so amazing this time of year! from r/DenverCirclejerk
The moon setting over Denver last week I love Colorado lol from r/DenverCirclejerk
Shrooms, shrooms and more shrooms
When can I get my psilocybin Carl’s Jr burger? from r/DenverCirclejerk
Hourly reminder to legalize shrooms maaaaaaaaannnn…. from r/DenverCirclejerk
Overpriced apartments
Comfortable, one-family home in Denver, space saving design, $2,100/mo, includes a door![X-post /r/Denver] from r/DenverCirclejerk
Natives who are more native than you while
Been a Colorado native for about three years now from r/DenverCirclejerk
I'm a Colorado Native but I'm white? from r/DenverCirclejerk
How long till I can put a "Native" sticker on my car? from r/DenverCirclejerk
Weeeed!
Can someone tell me what type of plant this is? Moved from the Midwest and haven't seen it, they're covering our entire yard too from r/DenverCirclejerk
Random Denverosity
Best Mongolian throat singing band in Denver? from r/DenverCirclejerk
(For some reason that one literally made me laugh so hard I spit my coffee. [Fair trade, sustainably-harvested, Whole Foods-purchased coffee, of course.])
As usual on Reddit, the comments are as great as the main posts, with the Redditors absolutely nailing the well-meaning but slightly-oblivious self-love of the Denverites.
There would be an r/BoulderCircleJerk, someone pointed out, but it already exists: it's just called r/Boulder.
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