We wasted used appropriately a good couple of hours on the clock looking for some of the best Thanksgiving themed music in the nation. It was a lot harder than it sounds; it’s not a holiday known for its classics.

Aside from the sour history Thanksgiving totes along with it each year, it’s still by far one of the better holidays this country still eagerly celebrates. The food, the fun, the booze and the family, T-Day is everything we wish for when our lives get too chaotic to manage. It’s our favorite. That is, until Diwali becomes a bigger deal, because the “festival of lights” is incredible, and a five-day rager celebrating “victory of knowledge over ignorance” is something we can get down with. Sign us up.

In the meantime, we’ve wasted used appropriately a good couple of hours on the clock looking for some of the best Thanksgiving themed music in the nation. It was a lot harder than it sounds; it’s not a holiday known for its classics.

Some Rando Internet User? – "U Can’t stuff this"

Even for millennials born after the height of M.C. Hammer’s reign as the big pants rapping king of the land, the ubiquitous hit single “U Can’t Touch This” is ear-worming gold. It’s one of those timeless classics future historians will look back on in disbelief proclaiming, “Why wasn’t this song bigger? Even bigger!”

So of course there’s a parody of it out there pertaining to Turkey Day. Because, Internet.

AmericanGreetings.com – "Thanksgiving Overture"

This creative animation acts more like a commercial for AmericanGreetings.com than it does an actual holiday ballad, but is cute enough to willingly send grandma. Give the old bag a smile by loading it on her pre-paid Samsung. Remember, a giving thought this close to Christmas can be the difference between an empty greeting card and a crisp hundo falling out amidst mail-opening desperation.

Flowgo – "Turkey In Yo Belly Time"

The … actual … fuck. We’re starting to see a pattern here with most of the Thanksgiving content posted up on YouTube. Too many people with a lot of time on their hands is about our best guess for a lot of it. You guys really need to stop. Once the powers that be see we use free time for this kind of useless e-crud they’re going to enact a 60 hour work week, and that’s just going to piss us straight off. Then again, what else would we do during a 60 hour work week other than pretend to work while watching videos like this? Such a circular conundrum!

Johnny Cash – "Thanksgiving Prayer"

If there’s one man we’re pouring a few out for come family time it’s going to be the man in black, Johnny Cash. This one’s not so much funny as it is moving. His devilish croon atop an acoustic line is tear jerking, and what’s better; Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman doesn’t look a day past 1995. Swoon!

Joanie Leeds – "Tofurkey Song"

Sigh, sigh sigh! Of course there’s a song about tofurkey, of course there is! 

Adam Sandler – "Thanksgiving Song"

Let’s be honest with ourselves, Adam Sandler isn’t good at much. Sure, Billy Madison and The Water Boy gave us a few unrequited chuckles here and there, but the fact remains, there was nothing else to watch for close to a miserable five year stretch. We were force fed Sandler like prisoners in Gitmo. His holiday songs are a small glimmer in his career though, so we don’t mind jamming the “Thanksgiving Song” once in a while.

Nicole Westbrook – "It’s Thanksgiving"

Holy gravy-loving wishbone the Internet is a fierce beast! We’ve scoured over pages of comment threads and basement blogs about Nicole Westbrook’s “It’s Thanksgiving” and can’t believe (read: can believe) some of the filth that spews forth from angsty teenage fingertips.

Relax, everyone, this is another stratagem from the masterminds behind Rebecca Black’s “Friday” video, Ian Hotchkiss and Chris Lowe. Their company Ark Music Factory is the equivalent of video Glamour Shots for rich kids – this shouldn’t be taken seriously.

Breathe!

Sean Flynn – "Thanksgiving Song"

We don’t know who Sean Flynn is or why he possesses such a loveable demeanor, but watching him sing a quickly made up song about Thanksgiving in a car is probably the best treat we’ve found on the ‘net yet. If he can teach the world anything, it’s how to manage a commute more appropriately.