Your parents will be so proud of you. Finally.
A duo of American scientists from Vanderbilt University have taken the common parental advisement of "put on your thinking cap" so unbelievably seriously that they literally invented a hat that helps you think better.
According to a new report in LiveScience, this is the first real “thinking cap” ever, and it supposedly helps people to learn and make decisions quicker. God, if only our snazzy fedoras could do that when we wear them to da club …
When you put it on your dome, it works by sending out very low electrical shocks which stimulate certain parts of your brain involved in learning. Somehow, this doesn't end up with you lying motionless in a pile of your own frothy drool; instead it leads to better learning ability.
This is because milliseconds before you make a mistake, negative voltage spikes occur in the medial-frontal cortex of your brain. All the thinking cap does is correct those so you don't fuck up. And when you never fuck up (or do so a lot less), you improve learning and decision making.
"Although you'll probably never learn to clean your room"
Initial trials of the thinking cap showed that 75 percent of the study participants displayed a remarkable improvement in learning and decision making while sporting it. The genius effect lasted for about five hours before the participants relapsed into their baseline stupidity levels.
Currently, the only downside is that it's attached by oh, about 350 wires to the wall and you look like you're lost and named 'Timmy' when you wear it.
No word yet as to whether the thinking cap will be available on the market for consumer purchase anytime soon; the scientists who invented it are currently testing and putting the final touches to the product in order to make it suitable for everyday use.
Until then, looks like it's just us and this giant pile of Adderall …