Your ex's iPad, wardrobe and car would make the perfect charitable contribution.
One of the greatest ways to get back at your ex for breaking your heart is to get rid of their belongings. The act of disposing of their property, or incinerating it in a man-made t-shirt furnace, feels great … but wouldn't it feel so much better if you knew that you could get rid of their shit and make an underprivileged person across the country very happy at the same time?
This is a possible fantasy. Goodwill stores are hosting an anti-Valentine's Day campaign for the brokenhearted called "Donate Your Ex's Stuff" in which they're encouraging you to do away with your ex's "World's Best Lover" mug and disgusting snowboard boots the right way: by ditching all physical evidence of your relationship in the name of charity.
“We’re telling people they can turn the hate into donate and they’ll feel great in the process,” Kelly Davis Strausbaugh, marketing and public relations coordinator for Goodwill Manasota, told ABC News.
Several Goodwill stores are really playing up the breakup theme, and will feature pizza and Taylor Swift songs as well to help with the grieving process. Because nothing says "Fuck you for sleeping with my sister" like anger-picking pepperoni slices off the Domino's Stuffed Crust because you're vegetarian and can't win today while having the simultaneous epiphany that T-Swift really "gets you" right now. Her and her team of 47 writers have been in your shoes and honey, you're not alone and stuff.
The actual campaign will launch on February 15th, giving the heartbroken a little extra time to box up the entirety of their ex's apartment while they're at work or to process the brutality of a Valentine's Day breakup.
“Instead of throwing items away, they can donate to Goodwill and help turn them into jobs,” said Strausbaugh. “We don’t like break-ups but this is a way to make it a little more fun and tongue-in-cheek.”
We just hope there's someone out there who has the same terrible affinity for shredded Pantera t-shirts, busted ukuleles and unemployment sweatpants as your ex did …