Sorry land developers — this means "not welcome"!
So sorry, leeching land developers in town stacking quick dollars then heading out to splitsville: Red Rocks Park is now deemed a National Historic Landmark — that means keep your filthy hands and cheap apartment structures off!
But it’s great news! This week the National Park Service and Department of the Interior named Red Rocks Park and the Mount Morrison Civilian Conservation Corps (CCC) — a nearby camp used by some of the workers who built the venue — a national treasure. Not terribly unlike that of what Nicolas Cage was after in all of those exhilarating films of triumph and despair.
“This designation reinforces Red Rocks Park and its remarkable landscape of red sandstone monoliths as a true icon for Colorado," says Governor Hickenlooper in a seemingly bland statement. “It’s renowned as the only naturally occurring, acoustically perfect amphitheater in the world, and the diverse landscape attracts thousands of outdoor enthusiasts and even dinosaur fans.”
What are you saying Hick, dinosaur fans can’t be outdoor enthusiasts and outdoor enthusiasts can’t be dinosaur fans? Sounds a bit separatist to us. Dinosaur fans around the world demand an apology …
Furthermore, the designation affords the venue its very own, ultra-special plaque — along with federal resources to conserve the landscape for years to come. Red Rocks joins 25 other National Historic Landmarks in Colorado — feast thine eyes on the full list here.
We’d also add (if it were us making the rules), that anyone caught littering or breaking unwarranted bottles within the venue vicinity be locked up in federal prison with the other socially outcaste monsters. Red Rocks needs to stay the beautiful wonder that it is and not continue to smell like the underbelly of a frat couch.
Congrats, Red Rocks — mama's so proud …
– Red Rocks 1966 via Wikipedia // Cover Photo: flickr