Sometimes, making mistakes is more fun when you can actually remember them.

Let's talk about drinking.

Sometimes, drinking rules. It's super fun. You have a great time. "Weeee," you say.

But other times, you just don't feel like drinking. Maybe you're hungover. Maybe booze makes you emo. Maybe you're sick, or you're driving, you work early the next day, or you're just challenging your own self control for the sport of it. Doesn't matter why; sometimes the thought of getting wasted just isn't appealing to you.

"But everyone's going out," you say. "Everyone's having a beer!"

So what? Doesn't mean you have to.

I'm not saying don't drink at all. I don't care what you do. I'm merely saying don't if you don't feel like it.

Has it ever occurred to you that you can still go out, have fun, get wild, and have an inhibition-free time as sober you? That you can still make terrible mistakes and have one-night-stands and slur your words in your natural, Fireball-free state?

Breaking news: You can. Wow.


You don't need to drink to socially lubricate yourself or even have a good time. 

If you do, maybe take a look at that part of yourself. We're not doctors, and what you do is none of our business, but it seems that if you can't enjoy yourself without swallowing poor-tasting liquid at regular intervals, something's probably up with you.

Double revelation: No one actually gives a shit if you're drinking or not. Sometimes people drink to make other people happy. But, no one's really thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves and how their underwear is sawing off a half of their labia right now or how their Dad is really an inspiration to architects everywhere or about what life would be like if everyone was just a little gay. Sorry to break it to you, but the problem of your beverage choice isn't nearly as exciting as those things, or like, most things.

If, in the off chance that they do care, that's weird, don't you think? And it's their problem, not yours. If they try to pressure you into it, that says a lot more about their need for security than it does about your ability to have a good time.

And guess what? It's real simple to go out and not drink if that's the kind of mood you're in.

There are methods.

Order virgin cocktails. They still look like cocktails.

Hold the same beer all night.

Say you're driving.

Just be fucking honest and tell them you're not drinking tonight, blah blah blah. I promise you they'll move on with their life.

And most importantly, if someone buys you drink … don't drink it.

… which brings us to our triple revelation: you don't have to drink something just because someone bought it for you. It's not rude to refuse it or give it away if you didn't ask for it in the first place. Incredible.

I promise you that no one is Jane Goodall-observing you, taking field notes and measurements of your drinking habits to make sure you're good and drunk. Have you ever seen specialized instruments designed to weigh the mass and volume of an alcohol beverage being drunk by your friends? I haven't.

Drink for yourself. Not to impress other people or make them feel more comfortable.

Not drinking doesn't mean you have to change any part of yourself. You don't have to become fundamentally sober, or more adult. The only difference is one night you guzzle Grey Goose and one night you don't. You're still the same exact person, with the same interests and friends.

Plus, half the time we drink to make mistakes. Think how much more fun it will be to make those mistakes when you can actually remember them … and wake up the next morning refreshed and bright-eyed as ever.

Just wow.

Photo cred: Sofie Delauw/Getty Images