Does Obamacare cover boss-inflicted pistol-whippin's?

So here we are, it’s 2015 and there are more social issues being hung out for discussion than we know what to do with and world problems continue to stack up faster than shipping crates on our consumptive coasts. Meanwhile, in Atlanta, a 39-year-old rapper and music producer is kidnapping and pistol-whipping his (likely) underpaid help for who knows whatever reason.

As reported by TMZ, the incident, which happened a few weeks back, alleges the “Da Boss” and one of his bodyguards forced a groundskeeper into a back guesthouse after an argument and proceeded to beat him with the back of a pistol. Because, really, what reason couldn't there be for a pair of overcompensating dickwads to beat a man who tends lawn for a living? 

Both Ross and his bodyguard, Nadrian Lateef James, are charged with aggravated battery and kidnapping and could face up to 10 years behind bars. Both were denied bond on an initial hearing Wednesday morning. The two will continue to sit in adult timeout until at least July 1 when they’ll be put in front of a superior court judge.

Seeing as how Rick Ross is worth somewhere around the area of $35 million, it’s likely he won’t see any time behind bars for the incident and will be able to settle the kerfuffle out of court (yay American law!), but it’s probably for the better, considering Ross was a prison guard back in the day and fellas on the inside probably wouldn’t take too kindly to a man of the uniform being in such close quarters.

Or maybe they would …

“From Prison Snitch to Prison Bitch” … next week on the Lifetime channel …