Because not everyone has the wallet to support their 1982 Lafite habit.

Vendange // Chardonnay

With its juice box vibe, Vendange is the perfect choice for water-bound winos or folks who need booze on the go. The cardboard box can slip into your bike’s water bottle cage, slide into your golf cart’s cup holder or wedge perfectly between the safety bars of that roller coaster seat. Smashing this container against the edge of a kitchen table won’t turn it into a weapon, so plan accordingly.

Cost: $4 for 500 ml (12.5% ABV)

On the nose: under-ripe yellow apple, dandelion, gravel

On the palate: lemon-lime, table salt, feet

Best paired with: an adventurous spirit, disregard for personal safety, bendy straws

Fox Hollow // Merlot

Need to bring a normal-looking bottle of wine to a party but still don’t want to spend more than a couch’s-worth of change? Fox Hollow is your new best friend, delivering “pinkie out” classiness at “vomit in your hair” prices. If you get caught without a wine opener, just push the cork in with a tube of ChapStick and shake the floating cork out of the way. You’re welcome.

Cost: $3 for 750 ml (12.5% ABV)

On the nose: blackberry, cherry, garbage can

On the palate: raspberry, black pepper, freshly tilled garden

Best paired with: an “everyone bring a bottle of wine ” party scenario where the Fox can slip in undetected.

Boone’s Farm Blue Hawaiian

For legal reasons, it’s labeled as “flavored apple wine product” — but that won’t stop anyone from takin’ a trip to the Farm. With a rainbow of captivating colors like Strawberry Hill, Mountain Berry and Fuzzy Navel, Boone’s eye-searingly neon blue shade is definitely our favorite. You’ll be hula-dancing with the best of them. Serve chilled.

Cost: $3 for 750 ml (3.9% ABV)

On the nose: synthetic pineapple, medicine, crushed childhood memories

On the palate: freshly opened pool toy, Splenda, chalk

Best paired with: a lack of regret, people searching for a simultaneous buzz and sugar high, blue-stained tongue  fetishists.

Carlo Rossi // Blush Wine

One look into the eyes of that old grape-cradling bastard and you know your night will end with either tears or handcuffs. Mr. Rossi delivers the equivalent of five $1.80 bottles of wine in one massive gallon jug, so just one hour of work at Taco Bell can get two people completely hammered … God bless America. Hope you like pink juice.

Cost: $9 for 4L (9% ABV)

On the nose: strawberry, raspberry Jolly Rancher, purple Pixie Stix

On the palate: sour apple, over-ripe peach, Freshman year

Best paired with: two or three friends, an overwhelming desire to throw up something pink, above-average motor skills.