Welcome to Rooster's Ultimate Sex Survey, a place where the good, the bad, and the ugly coalesce in an amalgamation of mind-blowing revelations that will forever change the way you look at your friends and lovers. It's big, it's bold, it's naughty, and after a month of collecting responses, the results are in. Read on to see what's going on in the dirty minds of Rooster readers near and far.
Welcome to Rooster's Ultimate Sex Survey, a place where the good, the bad, and the ugly coalesce in an amalgamation of mind-blowing revelations that will forever change the way you look at your friends and lovers. It's big, it's bold, it's naughty, and after a month of collecting responses, the results are in. Read on to see what's going on in the dirty minds of Rooster readers near and far.
GENTLEMEN
If you were single, would you sleep with your best opposite-sex friend?
- Yes 68%
- No 32%
If you could make your penis bigger, would you?
- Yes 50%
- No 50%
How satisfied are you with your current sex life?
- Not satisfied at all 18%
- Somewhat satisfied 32%
- I’m doing better than most 34%
- I’m a rockstar 16%
How often do you have sex?
- Once a day 23%
- Once a week 32%
- Twice a month 25%
- Once every six months 14%
- Once a year 6%
What would you like more of in the bedroom?
- A little pain 8%
- Experimentation 53%
- Dirty talk 23%
- Toys 7%
- Role play 9%
You love online porn.
- Strongly agree 14%
- Agree 48%
- Disagree 13%
- Strongly disagree 2%
- Indifferent 23%
Do you try things you see in porn?
- Yes 73%
- No 27%
Have you learned the most about sex through porn?
- Yes 16%
- No 84%
Do you wish your sexual life resembled the porn you watch?
- Yes 23%
- No 77%
How do you feel you compare to other guys when it comes to bedroom skills?
- Expert 20%
- Above average 54%
- Average 23%
- Below average 2%
- Amature 1%
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On a scale of one to five, five being the kinkiest, how kinky are you?
- 1 2%
- 2 13%
- 3 41%
- 4 37%
- 5 7%
How cautious are you when it comes to safe sex?
- Not very 9%
- Not as much as I should be 38%
- Most of the time 38%
- All of the time 15%
Have you accidentally gotten someone pregnant, resulting in an abortion?
- Yes 14%
- No 86%
Which would most likely be a reason you’d have sex with someone you didn’t like?
- Pity 11%
- Desperation 27%
- Spite 20%
- Bored 43%
Have you ever texted nude photos of yourself?
- Yes 64%
- No 36%
Have you ever tried to seduce a girl using by Snapchatting a picture of yourself?
- Yes 15%
- No 85%
What item would be an immediate deal breaker if you found it in a girl’s house?
- Used condom 68%
- “Magic Mike” poster 5%
- Pictures of an ex 23%
- Stuffed animals 4%
Under what conditions do you prefer sex?
- Lights on 32%
- Lights off 25%
- Candlelight 23%
- Daylight 20%
Have you ever faked an orgasm?
- Yes 50%
- No 50%
What’s the ideal point at which to have sex for the first time?
- First date 13%
- Second date 55%
- One month 27%
- Two months 2%
- More than two months 4%
How long should a girl stay at your place after sleeping together?
- Until the next morning 36%
- Leave after 30 minutes 4%
- The whole next day 7%
- Depends on the sex 50%
- Immediately after 4%
If you’re in a relationship, at what point does cheating start?
- Texting 7%
- Facebook friends 1%
- Hanging out 20%
- Hooking up 73%
Have you ever cheated on someone?
- Yes 48%
- No 52%
What would make you cheat on someone?
- Boring sex life 16%
- No emotional connection 41%
- You’re just a slut 18%
- Fell for someone else 25%
Biggest turn off in a girl?
- Being a bitch 44%
- Shy 5%
- Snobby 46%
- Too nice 1%
- Talking too much 4%
How have you spied on your partner?
- Gone through stuff 11%
- Checked texts/emails 39%
- Logged into Facebook 7%
- Stalked 4%
- Never have spied 39%
Your ultimate fantasy involves
- Multiple partners 59%
- Role playing 7%
- S&M 13%
- Public sex 20%
- Being watched 2%
What’s the hottest thing a girl can do in bed?
- Talk dirty 29%
- Take control 46%
- Let you take control 14%
- Role play 4%
- Make you beg for it 7%
Who/what do you fantasize about the most?
- Your girlfriend 21%
- Your girlfriend’s friends 5%
- Older women 5%
- Celebrities 1%
- Singled-out body parts like boobs or butt 20%
- Other girls 48%
What’s the most important thing to have in common in a relationship?
- Taste in music 14%
- Sex drive 38%
- Mutual friends 0%
- Professional interests 5%
- Personal hobbies 4 3%
What’s your favorite position?
- Girl-on-top 30%
- Missionary 7%
- Doggy style 46%
- Standing up 7%
- From the side 10%
You have sex sober
- Always 15%
- Usually 41%
- Sometimes 29%
- Rarely 13%
- Never 2%
How important is it that the girl gets off too during sex?
- Very important 40%
- Somewhat important 40%
- Not very important 15%
- Couldn't care less 5%
Have you ever had an STD?
- Yes 14%
- No 86%
Do you have a nickname for your penis?
- The evil bone (only one in her)
- Mr. Johnson
- BB (Beer Bottle dick)
- Mjolnir (hammer of Thor)
- Le Peep
- Sargent Charles
- Archer
- Terminator
- Meathook
What’s one piece of advice you have for girls giving oral sex?
- At least act like you’re into it
- Start slow and build up momentum, teasing is always great
- Use your lips and tongue real good
- Learn to use your hands in conjunction with your mouth
- Don’t forget about the balls
- More tongue
- The whole thing, not just the head
- No teeth, ever!
What’s your worst sexual experience?
I received my first handjob in the driver’s seat of my car sophomore year of high school. Next to me in the passenger seat was my best friend getting blown by the best friend of the girl that was tugging my boat. They stopped hooking up to watch me get my first hand job, so I couldn’t get it up due to the embarrassment. My girl started crying because she thought it was her fault she couldn’t get it up, but continued pounding my meat anyway. I eventually got to 42 percent chub (calculated) so I had a crying slut jerking me off with 42 percent chub. In approximately 37.5 (calculated) seconds, I came all over my brand new shirt. My girl eventually notices this, stops crying, and says “oh, you came.” Don’t forget that my best friend and his slammerdoodle are watching this whole thing, so they start cracking up at my lack of libido and the whole situation. My best friend gives me a friendly little slap on the chest while making fun of me, and gets my own semen on his hand. Instead of freaking out, he calmly swipes my semen across the face of my girl and says “this is where it should be.” This actually fucking happened. I laid in bed and cried for two hours after this.
LADIES, LADIES, LADIES
How cautious are you when it comes to safe sex?
- Not very 5%
- Not as much as I should be 20%
- Most of the time 34%
- All of the time 41%
Have you ever had an STD?
- Yes 20%
- No 80%
Do you like porn?
- Yes 70%
- No 30%
Would you, or have you, had a same-sex experience?
- Yes 62%
- No 38%
Have you ever faked an orgasm?
- Yes 83%
- No 17%
Why would you fake an orgasm?
- Not into the guy 6%
- Because it doesn’t feel that good 5%
- To get it over with so you can go to sleep 32%
- Want to make the guy feel good about himself 57%
Under what circumstances would you have a threesome?
- Only if they are friends 22%
- Only if they are a stranger 47%
- With someone more experienced 25%
- With someone less experienced 5%
What’s most important in the bedroom for you?
- Stamina 13%
- Size 5%
- Sensual 59%
- Spontaneous 23%
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You would immediately leave a guy’s place if you saw
- A picture of an ex 45%
- Action figures collection 10%
- Porn collection 11%
- A dirty bathroom 24%
- Bob Marley posters 10%
How long do you expect a guy to stay around after sex?
- Whole night and morning 64%
- Leave immediately 7%
- Stay until I fall asleep 22%
- Stay for the next day 8%
How have you spied on your partner?
- Gone through stuff 14%
- Checked texts/emails 47%
- Logged into Facebook 3%
- Stalked 4%
- Never spied on anyone 32%
Do you have a nickname for your vagina?
- No 91%
- Yes 9%
What do you want your guy to bring into the bedroom?
- Whips and masks 22%
- Food and chocolate 6%
- Videos and toys 34%
- Champagne and roses 38%
What’s a sure way to give you an orgasm?
- Oral sex 28%
- Finger play 27%
- Intercourse 25%
- Go it alone 20%
Your greatest fantasy most likely involves
- Threesome 13%
- Girl on girl 17%
- Public indecency 32%
- Celebrities 12%
- S&M 22%
- Sex with a stranger 4%
When you’re into a guy, you most likely
- Touch him when you talk 51%
- Laugh at everything he says 21%
- Talk a lot 14%
- Ignore him 7%
- Act shy 7%
If you’re in a relationship, at what point does cheating start?
- Texting 16%
- Facebook friends 2%
- Sexting 49%
- Hooking up 33%
On a scale of one to five, five being the kinkiest, how kinky are you?
- 1 3%
- 2 11%
- 3 39%
- 4 37%
- 5 10%
Have you ever cheated on someone?
- Yes 46%
- No 54%
What would make you cheat on someone?
- Boring sex life 11%
- No emotional connection33%
- You’re just a slut 13%
- Fell for someone else 43%
You have sex sober
- Always 6%
- Usually 56%
- Sometimes 31%
- Rarely 5%
- Never 2%
What’s your biggest turn on?
- Sense of humor 47%
- Money 1%
- Intelligence 19%
- Looks 11%
- Kind and sweet 22%
What’s your biggest turn off?
- Cockiness 18%
- Lack of intelligence 31%
- Bad work ethic 9%
- Bad in bed 10%
- Talks too much 3%
- Too nice 5%
- Asshole 24%
What’s your favorite position?
- Girl on top 26%
- Missionary 14%
- Doggy style 50%
- Standing up 3%
- From the side 8%
How often do you think about sex?
- Constantly 30%
- Once or twice a day 55%
- Once or twice a week 10%
- Few times a month 4%
- Never 1%
What time of day do you most like to have sex?
- In the morning 15%
- After work 5%
- Right before bed 17%
- Late night 20%
- Literally anytime 47%
How do you feel you compare to other girls when it comes to bedroom skill?
- Expert 9%
- Above average 53%
- Average 33%
- Below average 3%
- Amature 2%
Have you ever had to use Plan B?
- Yes 65%
- No 35%
What’s the hottest thing a guy can do in the bed?
- Talk dirty 10%
- Take control 75%
- Tet you take control 2%
- Role play 4%
- Make you beg for it 10%
Who/what do you fantasize about the most?
- Your boyfriend 49%
- Your boyfriend’s friends 5%
- Older men 11%
- Celebrities 14%
- Single body parts like abs or arms 7%
- Strangers 14%
What’s the most important thing to have in common in a relationship?
- Taste in music 5%
- Sex drive 30%
- Mutual friends 9%
- Professional interests 6%
- Personal hobbies 50%
What’s the ideal point to have sex for the first time?
- First date 4%
- Second date 31%
- One month 49%
- Two months 8%
- 2+ months 8%
Have you ever texted nude photos of yourself?
- Yes 77%
- No 33%
What's more important, your pleasure or theirs?
- Yours 25%
- Theirs 28%
- Should be equal 47%
Have you ever used Snapchat to seduce a guy?
- Yes 29%
- No 71%
Which would most likely be a reason you’d sleep with someone you didn’t like?
- Pity 27%
- Desperation 21%
- Boredom 42%
- To make them leave 10%
What would you like more of in the bedroom?
- A little pain 23%
- Experimentation 47%
- Dirty talk 14%
- Toys 15%
If you could make your boobs bigger, would you?
- Yes 46%
- No 54%
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Most common household item you’ve masturbated with?
- Hairbrush
- Travel toothbrush holder
- Shower gel bottle
- My hubby’s hammer
- Mobile phone
- Vibrating toothbrush
- Non-vibrating toothbrush
- Empty prescription bottle
- Back massager
- Hair dryer
- Umbrellas – knob type
- Vegetables
- Screwdriver
- Pen
Do you have a name for your lady parts?
- Cobwebs
- Sluthole
- Lady bits
- Miss V
- Miss J
- Kitty
- Lucy
- Jigglypuff
- Whoha
- The girls
- The flower
What’s your worst sexual experience?
This guy I had just started dating was fucking me doggy-style. I wasn’t really in to him and couldn’t help but be more repulsed by him with each thrust. Just when I thought I couldn’t want to puke more than I already did, while inside me he says, “my mom really likes you.” I stopped answering his phone calls and moved 2,000 miles away to Colorado immediately.
My boyfriend counted down before he came. And when he did go, he said “boom goes the dynamite.”
Tiny Tim tried to overcompensate for his little wang by ramming as hard as he could. Hip bones thrusting into my pelvis is not pleasant in the least! And no, I still couldn’t feel him.
What’s one rule guys should know when it comes to giving oral sex?
- Less is more unless she encourages more. It doesn’t need to be bulldozed for fuck sake.
- Do it. Always. Unless the girl tells you not to. She will spend so much more time on you and be much more likely to fuck you again. Even if you’re not good, it’s the thought that counts.
- Take it slow and sensual. Treat my clit like it’s the last time you’ll lick your favorite ice cream cone.
- If you enjoy it, she will too.
- Repitition
- Clean your god damn face and mouth
- You’re not a dog with a water bowl
- Slow down and focus on her. It’s all about the clit!
- If a girl is going mad over what you’re doing, keep doing it! don’t take that as a sign to change things up.
- Don’t you fucking dare bite
- Tease her until she begs
- Learn the anatomy of the clitoris
- Just because she's into it doesn't mean you should go faster and harder. You're not going down on a dick.
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