This has to be done before you start drinking for the night, so some of you are already screwed …
See that picture up there? —–^^^ That sweet looking fruit of forgiveness? Turns out that nectarine looking motherfucker will save a few lives in its time — because Australian researchers have found its hidden secret. It cures hangovers … BOOM, GAME FOREVER ALTERED!
Ultra-smart saviors at the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization (the Australian government’s research wing) have found that sipping down just under a cup of Asian Pear Juice before drinking all but eradicates next day symptoms of getting completely turnt-housed.
This is a good thing for you excess-loving goons …
While it may reduce next day headaches, nausea and has found to even improve memory of the night before (!!!), the pears still aren’t able to grow fingers and delete any embarrassing texts or slap the phone out of your damn hands before sending ridiculous Snapchats. You’re on your own with that one.
Why the particular fruit of brilliance does what it does is still unclear, but it may be that it contains certain enzymes necessary in ridding the body of Fireball’s wrath, or that it slightly inhibits alcohol’s absorption some way or another. Science stuff, m'eh.
"Overall hangover severity, as measured by a 14 item hangover severity scale, was significantly reduced in the Korean (Asian) pear group compared with those having a placebo drink, with the most pronounced effect seen on the specific symptom of 'trouble concentrating'", lead researcher Manny Noakes tells FoodWorldNews.com. "And remember, the very best way to not get a hangover is to not drink in the first place.”
Don’t care, didn’t read!
It’s worth it to note again the juice doesn’t have any effect on anyone after consuming the first of ten IPAs, so why you’re still reading this article and not making the trek to a local market is beyond us.
God speed and safe journeys, booze-hounds!