Wiz Khalifa half tells, half psycho-babbles 12 tips on how to become the best weed inhaler you can be.

After the 2015 X-Games in Aspen, Wiz Khalifa invited one intrepid reporter into his weed dojo at the Limelight Hotel, sat him down, and taught him how to smoke weed like a champion of kush. His advice was so solid, and his coverage of the topic so encompassing, that we can't help but think he'd make a mighty marijuana educator for kindergartens and suburban oxycodone recovery groups and shit.

But before he doled out his words of wisdom, he praised on the skunky paradise that is Colorado:

"It just feels better being in this type of environment and knowing the smell doesn't scare people and everybody's with it," he said while rolling a joint. "If you pass somebody a joint they're gonna hit it!"

Thank you, Wiz. We love you too. Now what did you tell that nice young man about weed?

1. Weed is not a one-size-fits-all dealy bob

"Different weed works differently for different people. There's no better kind, whether sativa or indica. It just depends on your chemical makeup, who you are. Some people smoke sativa and feel more up and smoke indica and feel more down. I'm the type of the person where I smoke indica and feel way more up and smoke sativa and feel down. That's the opposite of what happens for most people. It's definitely through trial and error."

2. Associate with all types of 'weed men.' Keep it brotherly, keep it fraternal

"I've been blessed to travel a lot and run into lots of different types of weed men, whether it be college kids who grow it themselves, dudes in the hood who grow it themselves."

3. The Bay Area is the other holy grail of weed … you know the one that isn't Colorado

"The Bay Area is where I learned the most about weed. And wax. They're just more advanced over there when it comes to all of that 'cause they've been doing it for a long time. Like the weed that we smoke now, they've been engineering it for years in the mountains."

4. Your weed is only relevant if it smells really, really, really dank

"Certain strains of weed might be popular now simply because of advertisement. Everything has a name on it and it has different effects to it than what the name might actually be. It's so easy to make some pretty-ass flower that doesn't kick that strong. But the main thing is just the smell and the taste. The look can still be kinda there because it's real easy to make pretty weed these days. So if you get your hands on something and it smells really, really dank and it hits really strongly, you know that that's the shit. You really can't deny that. You know what I'm saying?"

5. Again … harping on California ….

"Out in Cali is where all the best buds are because that's where the original seeds come from. Everything else is like a clone. Not everything is grown exactly the same way the original strain was grown. The AK-47 out here in Colorado might be a little lighter and a little fluffier than the AK-47, say, in Northern Cali."

6. Khalifa Kush is the least weird kush

"All kush isn't kush. The different strains of kush, those are really the ones that vary and change up the most. You can get kind of fooled. That's why I created Khalifa Kush so I could stop smoking all those weird kushes."

7. Weed-growing knowledge is implanted in all our brains

"It's tight to be involved in the growing process. I always felt like the knowledge was somewhere in my brain. I just had to go out into the world and seek it and find it."

8. If you fuck up smoking weed, you are a byproduct of natural selection and can proceed down this hall for mandatory sterilization

"There's nothing you can do wrong when it comes to smoking weed. It's up to the individual to experiment and find out what works for them. Sometimes you've got to over-smoke and sometimes you gotta do some things to push it. But at the end of the day, [points to bong] this is where it's at."

9. Get high in every way possible

"In Pittsburgh we started out smoking blunts and shit on the block with the homies. Then meeting more people, becoming more cultured, I started smoking joints. Doing bongs. Doing vaporizers. All sorts of other shit. I fuck with all of that. It's all different types of ways to get high."

10. Filters are for pussies and runaways

"I always rolled papers without a filter until I went to Canada. That's where I learned to roll with the crutch. I don't know exactly the real reason they used filters. It was like, 'You have to roll every joint with a filter.' I just put everybody else on it, too. But sometimes it's good to roll without it 'cause you can taste the weed. So really, it's up to you."

11. You're going to trip your balls off

"With weed, you can hear things you weren't able to hear before. You can see things you weren't able to see before. You're more in a meditative stage than when you're drinking. I like to drink socially and at parties and stuff like that, but to be drunk onstage is a totally different vibe than to be stoned."

12. It'll help you nail your audition as Extra #3 in the new Tylenol commercial

"I want to be as high as I can when I perform. When I smoke it just gives me the best thoughts ever. I'm not really thinking about what's going on. I'm just letting it happen. My memory is just flowing and I can do things right on the spot without ever having to think about it 'cause I feel free."