"There’re two thing you want to do when you listen to reggae: You get somebody pregnant, or you’re fucking high. High people don’t want to kill nothing; they want to love."
In this tough time of militancy and religious terrorism, there's always one man whose opinion we can trust when it comes to guidance towards the light: Shaggy.
You know, like 2000's "It Wasn't Me?"
And this time, our lord and leader Shaggy has blessed us with a foolproof solution to single-handedly defeating the much feared and detested Islamic State, also known as ISIS: Weed and Shaggy CDs. Praise him!
Speaking to The Miami New Times about his new single "Go Fuck Yourself" ('Yourself' meaning ISIS), he said:
ISIS can go fuck themselves. That’s some crazy shit what they’re doing. It’s horrible, man. I can’t see…I don’t get that much hate. I just don’t get that level of evil. I can’t understand it … I get someone having a cause. I get somebody fighting for their cause. And I get that people struggle; I get that they suffer. But how does that justify killing your brother? Taking their heads off and filming it … That’s a different level of evil right there.
But Shaggy is hardly one to point out a problem without offering a solution. He went on to suggest an easy plan to implement:
If you’re able to cut a man’s head off, you’re sick. But right, music evokes emotion. So if they’re listening to Shaggy music or reggae music, they’re not going to want to cut somebody’s head off.
There’re two thing you want to do when you listen to reggae: You get somebody pregnant, or you’re fucking high. High people don’t want to kill nothing; they want to love. They need to bag some Jamaican weed and distribute it amongst ISIS. I guarantee there won’t be any more wars out there … Man, it’ll put them in a vibe. And throw some Bob Marley up in there and there’ll be peace. Some of these world leaders need to be stoners though, really.
Incontrovertible! That sounds like a great plan, Shaggy. Thank you for your wisdom. We'll start rounding up ISIS members for relaxing weed therapy and Shag-tastic serenades right now.