Forget the first black or female president … let's elect the first fictional aquatic villain as our government overlord.
All of us have something special that we want from the next President of the United States. Maybe it's a better healthcare plan. Maybe it's job creation. Maybe it's legal weed.
However, according to a recent poll conducted by the Washington Post and ABC News, the trait that the majority of the country would like to our nation's leader have is actually … multiple rows of serrated teeth and an undying lust for human blood.
That's right, kids, the shark from 'Jaws' is currently today's most popular presidential candidate. Nightmares do come true!
Anyway, it's about time we have a President who can do this:
WERE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
Not far behind Sharky Shark in the polls are The Terminator, Darth Vader and Voldemort, the latter of which is currently leading Republicans in the polls.
You can see it all this chart, which plots the favorability of all the current presidential candidate against a survey the Washington Post did of people's feelings toward four of Hollywood's favorite villains.
Only one of the fictional villains, Voldemort, has a lower favorability rating than some of the presidential candidates. You'll recall that Voldemort killed Harry Potter's parents, fed his enemies to a giant snake, and tortured and killed muggles just for fun. But he's still polling better than Mike Huckabee, Ted Cruz, Jeb Bush, Rick Santorum, Chris Christie and Donald Trump, so …
LOL-ing forever.
The saddest part about this survey isn't even that most Americans would prefer to be governed by someone who could either eat them or has no nose … it's that the overwhelming majority of presidential candidates are running with negative favorability scores as we speak. It's a best of the worst situation, and apparently the best is a big slippery fish that's mean and smelly.
And did anyone notice the glaring omission on this survey? Where is Waka Flocka Flame?!
Oh wait, here is is, we found him:
Bummer wave.
Why can't we just elect no one and secede from the U.S. then float away on a space raft and smoke weed with flames from the sun?
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