You know that high school yearbook/ Aaliyah quote "If at first you don't succeed, brush yourself off and try again?" Well, one Chinese woman took that saying to heart when she cut her husband's penis off not once, but twice, in one night. A real go getter!

You know that high school yearbook/ Aaliyah quote "If at first you don't succeed, brush yourself off and try again?" Well, one Chinese woman took that saying to heart when she cut her husband's penis off not once, but twice, in one night. A real go getter!

Fan Lung, 32, of Shangqiu, in Central China's Henan province, was sleeping when his wife, Feng Lung, 30, discovered her husband was having a was having an affair after he left his email account open like a newb. His wife decided to approach that issue by vivisecting his cock.

Fan awoke screaming as she sliced through his weener with a pair of scissors like a modern day Lorena Bobbitt. He was rushed to the hospital for emergency reattachment surgery, but that very same night, following surgery, his very thorough wife snuck into his hospital room and cut off his penis a second time. Bye, Felicia–penis!

Factoid: Penises can usually be reattached again if most of it is salvageable. In order for the surgery to be successful, the lone lignum would have to be placed in ice and reattached within 24 hours. After surgery, the penis looks pretty much normal and can function well if the urethra is reattached correctly. Too bad that's not at all what happened! Ha ha ha.

Following the second snipping, the pair, clashed outside the facility, with the naked and bleeding husband repeatedly beating his wife, until onlookers called the police.

The hospital was not aware that their penis-less patient was brawling until the police arrived.

“Staff rushed out to see what was happening and found the patient with blood streaming down his legs hitting the woman. He was stopped and the woman was taken in for treatment, and then we discovered she had chopped his penis off again,” said a hospital spokesman.

To make matters worse, sometime during the brawl, the penis was lost and was reportedly dragged off by a stray cat or dog.

Fan lost a lot of blood and was immediately taken in for emergency surgery after the fight. Aside from being distraught, he is now in stable condition. Doctors and police still have yet to find Fan’s penis. And that, ladies and gents, is why you log out of your email accounts.

Nevertheless, his lover Zhang Hung, 21, visited him at the hospital with an unexpected surprise. Hung, who now has to be hung enough for the both of them, plans to marry Fan as soon as he can — penis or no penis.

“It doesn't matter that he's lost his fertility, he has five children already,” Zhang said.

He's got five children, and now a stray dog has two penises. Balance is restored.