You've gotta grow up sometime, Bond. No more acting like a college freshman. 

All good things must come to an end. For about 50 years, James Bond has been the Michael Jordan of indulgent, male-oriented sins. Chugging cocktails, plowing hot lady spies, murdering his rivals, racing (and ultimately destroying) super cars … If you could cook up a testosterone-fueled fantasy, chances are he's already done it. 

But, if you actually look at his career in the cold light of reality, you'd realize that he's probably got liver failure, a whole crotchful of STIs and at least a few illegitimate children. And for Bond's next book, the author decided to drag James into the 21st century.

The new rag is titled "Trigger Mortis," written by Anthony Horowitz. 

While trying to stay true to Ian Fleming's original idea of Bond, ol' Tony has made Bond just a little more PC. 

Horowitz said, "The book is true to the character and keeps him as fans would want him, which is as the original hard-bitten guy, but then it always challenges and nudges and says ‘well wait a minute’." Thankfully, it's a series of softer changes.

"He does smoke cigarettes, he smokes many many cigarettes. But then what I do is I nudge him with a little reference to a newspaper article he happens to glance at which just reminds him that these things will give him cancer. With women, he has this sort of patronising carnal attitude with them which is absolutely accurate to the Bond of the books. But then by creating very strong women he is given quite a run for his money and his attitudes are challenged. I also gave him a very outspoken gay friend, who chides him and says 'come on Bond, you're living in the 20th century now not the Middle Ages.'”

And you remember Pussy Galore of Goldfinger fame?

Rawr. But this time around, she'll be Bond's live-in girlfriend. 


In the meantime, check out the trailer for the newest Bond film, "Spectre" which'll be out November 6. It doesn't look like the new softer Bond, and we're okay with that.