Imagine being forced to listen to Nickelback soundbites every time you texted an ex or trolled their Facebook page against your better judgement. Would that make you put the phone down?
So, the ol’ relationship’s over and you’re left with an ex with whom you can no longer have sex, and that rhymes.
Now you find yourself powering through a leftover box of wine and you’re suddenly hit with the temptation tempted to text your ex. You know, “see how they are.” This is never a good idea, but rarely do people stop themselves from this maligned communication. Until now.
Imagine being forced to listen to Nickelback soundbites every time you texted an ex or trolled their Facebook page against your better judgement. Would that make you put the phone down?
A video released by the popular YouTube channel Lady Products has envisioned this hypothetical app/ demonic aversion therapy device, called Nickelblock, just in time for Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne’s divorce.
Were it to actually exist, the Nickelblock app would play a Nickelback song whenever a person attempts to contact their ex or stalk them on social media, making people think twice about going to click on that new profile pic knowing the repercussion might mean being forced to listen to Chad Kroeger sing Photograph over and over and over again.
“Look at this photograph.”
NO CHAD, WE WON’T LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH WE’LL DO ANYTHING YOU SAY JUST PLEASE SHUT UP.
The app doesn’t stop blasting heady sounds until the user stops and gets their shit together. Furthermore, to keep individuals from becoming desensitized to Nickelback, the app will download more and more of the band’s songs. Meaning in virtually no time, you’ll be the unfortunate owner of the full Nickelback catalogue and consequently half of The Punisher soundtrack. Forgot about U2’s Songs of Innocence, good luck explaining this awkward iTunes shuffle moment.
Does this mean that the next time the person sees their ex out in public, a Pavlovian response will likely elicit the instinctual reaction to puncture their ear drums and barf uncontrollably? Hope so.
But, while we’re waiting for this glorious app to hit the market, let’s just keep the Franzia and our cellphones in separate rooms, mkay?
…and just for the hell of it, here’s a video of people throwing rocks at Nickelback (Rooster Magazine does not condone stoning your ex ):
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