In college, drinking out of a cup is a rarity. More often, we’ll force PBR down our throats with a beer bong, press our lips to the bottom of a herpes-laden ice luge, or swallow shards of aluminum as we shotgun a warm, foamy Natty Lite.
But this spring break, college students weren’t content to stick to the traditional methods of chugging. As documented by a Total Frat Move Instagram account that’s devoted solely to spring break shenanigans, frat boys and sorority girls are exploiting the wildlife to guzzle down their drinks.
One recorded instance involves some tool using the teeth of a beached shark to shotgun a beer.
While it’s unclear if the shark is dead or alive, one certainty is that the inside of its mouth is sickeningly unsanitary. But most viewers of the video seem unconcerned with the health and safety of the young man.
Within the comments, it seems users’ primary focus is the cruel and unnecessary handling of the wild creature. The post is laden with remarks along the lines of “Fuck these guys,” and “I hope a shark bites their micro-dicks off.”
In another video boasting blatant disregard for local wildlife, a frat boy pours his Solo cup full of tequila sunrise into the belly of a starfish, then slurps up his cocktail as it dribbles down the sea creature.
Unfortunately for the boys who posted these clips to showcase their lit lifestyle, their animal abuse instantly made them a public enemy. But even acknowledging the controversy induced by the shark and starfish offenses, Total Frat Move didn’t stop there.
Only a few days ago, the account shared a clip of a man slipping a jellyfish into a punctured beer can and quickly chugging its contents. It’s safe to assume that the critter was swallowed whole.
We’ve all done some shameful things in pursuit of a spring break buzz. But abusing the local wildlife is an atrocious approach to partying. Let’s recreate the good ol’ days of haircuts and body shots, and keep our hands off the flora and fauna. Birds, fish, and humans alike will thank you for it.
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