Eventbrite suggests an average night-goer spends $81 — but we think it's far, far greater than that if you're doing it right!

This past week, Eventbrite — one of the country’s foremost live event companies — conducted a study titled, “The Nightlife Economy: How Much do People Spend on a Night Out?” The study takes into account the essential components of a night out to concert or other live events — drinks, transportation, ticket costs, and *of course* late-night munchies.

The study suggests an average club rat spends about $81 for a night on the town, and this happens at least twice a week (which is child’s play if you ask us). To get even nerdier with it, the study also showcases a state-by-state cost analysis, which finds New York partiers face the steepest costs (big shocker there), while folks in LA and Chicago have fun for a relatively small price tag.

As enlightening as the study is, we’ve determined it’s poppycock. Pure poppycock! We aren’t professionals in the fields of statistics or economics, but we are professionals in the field of partying until the sun greets us in the morning (is there a major for that yet?).

Since Eventbrite’s study got everything so painfully wrong, we took it upon ourselves to conduct a more thorough and subjectively accurate study of how much the Average Party Animal (APA) spends on the average night out to a concert or club based on personal experience. WARNING: The following results may shock you (or maybe not).


Dinner ($10) — Something loaded with carbs and slathered in grease.

Booze ($10) — This is cheap, utility alcohol to be gotten drunk on, not enjoyed.

More Booze ($20) — Realizing that no one wants to drink fucking whipped cream Burnette’s again, the APA returns to the liquor store for a rack of Keystone and a bottle of Fireball.

Ticket ($50) — Usually tickets to a good concert are about $35, but that’s before getting done raw by Ticketmaster and their ridiculous fees for convenience handling — whatever the hell that means.

Party Favors ($10-120) — No night on the town is complete without drug … we mean … party favors — definitely not drugs. Whether the APA is into Pedro’s Peruvian Nose Candy or those neat little sweet tarts with the cool designs stamped on them, party favors are going to cost ducats.

Transportation ($20-30) — Using a ride-sharing service like Uber or Lyft can help save money, but the drivers are usually inept morons who take the longest route to get anywhere.

During “the Pregame” phase of a night out, the APA spends anywhere from $120-240; and that’s just the beginning.

Main Event:

Post-Pregame/Pre-Show drinks at a bar ($10-20) — Getting to the show early can take a toll on the wallet. Since the venue isn’t popping yet, the APA steps into the bar next door for a drink. The APA is already drunk and the bartender is either showing a vivid amount of cleavage or is flexing his glistening biceps whilst pouring beer, so why not tip $5 on a drink?

Drinks in the Venue ($30) — Ever been to a music venue? The drinks are fucking expensive. Plus there are more big-breasted and tight-pecked bartenders in there too. The APA gets at least 2 drinks and tips heavily because the drugs … uh … party favors are starting to kick in.

More Party Favors ($10-50) — After accidentally dropping his or her party favor in the toilet while trying to take them in the stall, the APA seeks out more and spends more money. But it’s cool; everyone’s totally feeling the tunes by now, man!

Dropping Money on the Ground ($20) — By this point, the drunken and irresponsible APA drops $20 on the ground … it happens.

The “Main Event” phase, though cheaper, can still cost a pretty penny — anywhere from $70-120.

Getting Home:

Transportation Home ($20-30) — Because the APA is often an irresponsible nincompoop, by this point they’ve lost contact with friends and a ride home, so a call Uber or Lyft is made again, and again — fuck that pizza cart smells good.

Late Night Munchies ($20) — Vendors who serve late night eats understand they can charge more than the going rate for whatever they’re selling because the drunk asses around the food cart will buy it anyway (“Ten bucks for slice of pizza … sounds fair!”) The APA buys one, but also likes the way the blonde behind them is looking tonight, so he/she buys them a slice too.

Transportation Home (cont.) — Full of pizza and sexual frustration, the APA calls Uber and gets picked up by another dipshit who doesn’t know how to navigate.

Now that the night of drunken debauchery is officially over, the APA has accumulated an astonishing amount in various expenses: approximately $230-410+ for a single night on the town. For this insane price tag, the Average Party Animal had a great time and very nearly got laid (he/she thinks).

Considering the alternative was putting on sweats and binge watching House of Cards on Netflix with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, we conclude — in our professional opinion — that it’s money (and time off of your parents’ couch) well spent.

– by Joe LaFond