The only thing that says "I'm on drugs" more than actually taking drugs is paying for those drugs on Venmo, the money-exchange/social media platform where everyone can see what you bought and how much you paid for it.

The only thing that says "I'm on drugs" more than actually taking drugs is paying for those drugs on Venmo, the money-exchange/social media platform where everyone can see what you bought and how much you paid for it.

Unfortunately for some Columbia University students who were getting their drugs that way, that realization was too little too late. Their favorite smartphone-compatible drug dealer was busted by the cops for doing just that, thereby screwing over hundreds of Ivy Leaguers who were hoping to pay for their molly with Daddy's bank account.

However the, alleged dealer, Michael Getzler, was apparently not satisfied with the amount of limelight and police attention his Venmo dealings brought him; he also submitted an anonymous essay to the Columbia Spectator just days before his arrest advertising his bounty and where to find it. In it, he wrote:

“Weed, edibles, MDMA, coke—I have sold all of these over the past week, in staggering amounts. Several hundred students (and I would call that a conservative estimate) will be smoking my weed this Saturday. There will be more than 100 students rolling on MDMA, thanks to me alone."

Thanks to you alone, we also know to pay our molly dealer in cash from now on. Idiot.
– See more at: http://www.therooster.com/blog/wtf-just-happened-sexually-impressive-pandas-how-survive-shipwreck-and-where-not-sell-drugs#sthash.VKofYfxB.dpuf